Is this really going to work?

Yeah, she's three. But seriously, it's starting to get a LITTLE old.

During our hiatus, we took two trips to the local ER. The first one, my daughter got cellulitis on her chest wall. If you've never had the joy of dealing with cellulitis, it looks like a spider bite (I think that's the best way to describe it). They don't know what she did, probably scratched at an ant bite or something, but needless to say, she got a VERY serious infection on her side. Because of this expierence at the ER, she is not willing to go to the doctors or anything of the sort, evening getting her to stand on the scale at home is just now starting to get easier, she associated standing on the scale with the ER.

Luckily, we caught the infection in the first day or so. All they had to do was poke a pretty good point into her side so that I was able to drain the puss out of her skin. YUCK! She was on a ten day antibiotic (which the ER doc prescribed to much of, luckily our regular doctor caught that). Luckily, again, my daughter was amazing during this whole ordeal. We're talking about 3-4 times a day of warm compresses and having her side mashed and pressed. Poor thing. Again, it is completely healed, and I am now one of those crazy moms who uses bandaids and neosporin (sp?) on anything and everything ... lol.

I should also mention that even though my dad retired earlier this summer from the fire department, he is currently working overnights at the local ER. Well, thank goodness for that. The other night after one hurricane day (we had like seven kids under the age of ten at our house because school was cancelled.) I looked up into Juliette's nose to see play-doh. Only, it was a neon green crayon. According to her, three of her friends were in her room and she put the crayon up her nose, and they laughed, so she kept it up there. And yep, it broke off and shoved the entire tip of a brand new crayon up at the top of her nose. Sheesh! Talk about peer pressure. This is nothing like Juliette would normally do ... but get a couple of three and four year olds in the same room, and who knows what they do. Sigh. Again, another trek in the ER where it took my dad, myself, and two nurses to hold her down. She was so angry with us. It took all of five minutes to get everything done (we were the only people in the ER at the time) ... but whew. The person who got the crayon said they had never seen one shoved so high up the nose cavitiy. Leave it to my daughter to do something like that ... lol.

So, luckily, those have been our only trips to the ER lately. Actually, at all. I figure, get them out of the way as early as possible. Of course, so far this week, she's completely busted her entire body running in front of the house in her cowboy boots. She skinned both knees, both hands and her face all up. Then, three days later, she completely ripped open her toe running around outside barefoot (see why your momma tells you to put on shoes?). Then tonight she busted her lip open.

She looked at me tonight and said "Am I ever gonna just stop bleeding?"

Only if we wrap the entire world up in bubble wrap baby.

Today has been a blissfully uneventful day.

Juliette is down for her nap, ahh, naptime. I love naptime. I am half tempted to join her myself, but there is much to do while she is asleep.

Today is our first no spender in awhile. It's a great feeling. I don't even think we're going to drive anywhere. Double yay!

I'm working on October's budget now ... and planning for the rest of the month. Spending should be way down, I'd like to pay off a bill or two extra in the next two months.

Needless to say, the past couple of days have gone by in a blur.

Sunday was the memorial service for my friend Jenny. I spent $60 trying to find a decent outfit, since all of my "business/casual" clothes are packed away. $60 bought me a nice outfit and a really cute pair of shoes. I bought something I can wear to upcoming job interviews, seeing as I am actively looking for new employment. Sunday was an extremely difficult day, after the services my friends and I had dinner at Cheddar's. I spent $20 which is pretty insane, but I bought a couple of drinks. It was great for all of us to get out together and laugh again, there needs to be more laughing going on.

I spent $20 on groceries last night. I bought stuff to make reuben sandwhiches tomorrow for lunch. YUM! I bought a couple of other things that I wanted, like veggies for the microwave for when I get out of work.

Today, I spent the day running errands and paid a bill for $150. It felt nice to get that off of my back. I also bought my daughter and my father a chocolate milkshake as a thankyou for running around with me, which cost me about $5. Dad bought lunch, which was awesome.

I still have 3/4 of a tank of gas, which is great, since most stations around here are out of gas. Isn't that insane!?!? Prices spiked over the weekend because of Ike, even though the our Gov said that our supply wouldn't be threatened with Ike in the Gulf. We leave for a (much needed) weekend at Disney on the 26th, so I am hoping that the stations get their supply soon and that prices go down to where they should be.

With all the spending done over the weekend, I am just going to sit tight for the next couple of days. We don't need anything, and I think we might venture out to a local park to blow off some steam. Juliette has been spending most of the time at the house this weekend, I was gone almost the whole weekend either working or at the memorial service. Luckily, I have two pretty amazing parents.

I'm just looking for things to get back to normal.

Seven years ago, I was a 17 year old in the beginning of my senior year. I thought I had the whole world in front of me, completely naive, with some pretty big dreams about how I would change the world.

Then 9/11 happened. It's the day that my generation will always remember where we were. Talking to teachers that day, they said we "needed" a day like this, a day where you knew the exact spot you were when you heard the news.

I was walking to homeroom ... and thought it was a joke. A freshman was getting yelled at by his teacher because he was changing the channel to the news. He said "No, seriously, a plane hit the Trade Center." Like his teacher, I had no idea how true and chilling those words would be. We stood staring at the tv, none of us taking our seats ... we all just stood there, and my awesome *complete stoner art teacher* who's homeroom I was in just stood completely shell shocked. You knew it was a big deal to see us all standing there.

I remember how all the teachers were told we were not allowed to be shown the news coverage. And how my psych teacher told them to screw off and showed it to us. I remember coming home and witnessing the biggest fight I had ever seen between my parents, my dad was from New York and a firefighter, he wanted to go and my mom didn't want him to. No one here remembers, but we got hit that weekend by a Tropical Storm ... so the fight I witnessed between my parents was null and void, my dad couldn't get clearance to leave because of the storm.

Looking back, I never thought I'd be here. If you would have told me how much life would have gone on in seven years ... I wouldn't have believed it. I LOVE being a mother, and am so proud of my daughter ... yet am still in awe that I am one. Is that silly? I don't know. How much life has changed in seven years.

Today, I am grieving again. I can't wrap my head around the fact that Jenny's gone. Stunned and silent is the best way to describe the feelings my friends and I are sharing.

An update on Summer for those that are curious: She had/has some major swelling on her brain. They drilled in her skull to help relieve some of the pressure. Both legs, hips and arms were broken in the crash. She has undergone numerous surgeries today. At 3pm, I found out she was going back into surgery because the swelling in her brain had gone down enough. They were inserting pins into her hips.

Tonight they announced that there was a beer in the cup holder of the car that hit Jenny. There was also an undetermined amount of beer cans in the passenger seat. They are awaiting a blood test to determine if she was drunk, but it's looking more and more like it was alcohol related. The woman who hit her is expected to make a full recovery.

Please, if you have babies, double check that their car seats are properly installed. Jenny and Summer were both buckled in, which is the only way Summer has made it that far.

http://pics.tampabay.com/?category=825

I don't want to depress anyone with these pictures, but when you look at them, you know how amazing it is that Summer has made it this far. Please pray for this little girl, she is simply an amazing little girl.

I lost an amazing person in my life today. She was my age, a single mom with a beautiful little girl. We worked together at the Barrel, and would often joke about how similar our lives were ... we were the same age, with little girls, and we fell in love with men who would turn out to be dead beat fathers. She and I both struggled, but it was great to have someone to vent to ... someone who actually understood where I was coming from.

Tonight, I picked up a shift for her, tomorrow would have been her 25th birthday. She was dating my ex, and on her way out to see him in St. Pete, when she was killed in a car accident. She was driving on the crosstown, and someone hit her head on going the wrong way. Her daughter, Summer, is in critical condition. The last we had heard, she was in surgery. They do no know if she is going to make it.

I can't help but wonder if all this wouldn't have happened if I hadn't agreed to work for her. I know it's not my fault, and I'm not even pretending that it is ... I know she would have either called out or someone would have worked for her tonight ... but it just hits me in the pit of my stomach that I should have been at home tonight, and she should have been at work, and none of this would have happened.

We found out at work tonight, a coworker called after she got the news from Jenny's boyfriend. Needless to say, we were all shook up. I think that's an understatement. Plates were dropped, orders weren't rang in ... there were a lot of tears. Life went on, but all any of us wanted to do was go home and hug our little ones ... and to find out how Summer was.

Just a couple of days ago, Jenny and I were making plans to take the girls to the park. We LOVE the tree park, and often took our girls there, but wanted to let them have a chance to play together. We knew they would get along, they both went to the same daycare ... but Jenny and I pulled them out to be able to spend more time with our girls. I'm just so incredibly at a loss for everything. I want to go back to Monday, and tell her I just can't make it in for her tonight, so that she would have been on the road later.

And then, the financial aspects of it. I know, if something would happen to me, that my parents would be there for Juliette. But, all I can think about is Summer literally being an orphan since Jenny took her away from her father. I know he wasn't a good dad, and I know that he had a lot of the same faults as James (my daughter's father) ... but I can't help but hope through this tragedy he can be there for Summer. He lives in a different state, so I don't even know if the family has called to tell him this happened. He hadn't talked to Jenny since she left almost 2 years ago. She just packed up her things, and left him. That takes courage.

I worry, since I don't have a legal will written, and I know I need life insurance. I know Jenny didn't have these things ... so I worry about what sort of lasting memorial Summer will have of her mother.

I lost a friend today, a courageous, loving, insightful friend. A daring mother, to a beautiful little girl. Hug your babies, and if they aren't there to hug ... call them on the phone.

http://www.abcactionnews.com/news/local/story.aspx?content_id=7e6f734c-8314-48db-8a59-ad175139e6d9
Her car was the green car. Seeing these pictures, I am praying that Summer is able to pull through.

http://www.myfoxtampabay.com/myfox/pages/Home/Detail;jsessionid=961DFA006308CB10699F85D29F8DDA87?contentId=7402031&version=20&locale=EN-US&layoutCode=TSTY&pageId=1.1.1&sflg=1
Same facts, just a wonderful picture of Jenny. This is a few years old, but that's Summer as a little one.

For a number of reasons, I have been MIA ...

So, I am working on getting back on track. Saving money, and hiding it so I am not tempted to spend. I have a lot to update, and am short on time, so I will do a better update later.

Hoping this is a start to getting back on track.

I finally got my car fixed ...

to the tune of $812. OUCH

PLUS, $75 to get the darn piece of junk towed.

UGH.

Needless to say, I didn't have all of that money in an emergency fund, but I am very lucky to have parents who had money I could borrow. My mom said something along the lines of "It seems silly to put this much in repairs for such a crappy car."

I couldn't agree more.

However, I now have a car again. No more borrowing cars, or having to get rides. YAY! I am going to be updating my side bar with all of my debts and such ... and really really working on paying them down. I think I am going to be changing my $20 Challenge a bit, to be able to save up for school. That is something I am still considering ... of course.

Sigh ... I think next month is going to be better. At least I hope so ... I need some good news!

So, I know I want to go back to college. I just don't know if I can afford it. At least not this year. My goal was to start classes in August ... but ... I also want to get out of debt.

Would you:

Go to at least one class (around $300 out of pocket) just to at least get started on the degree? (It's a community school, and I wouldn't get a loan for this money, just pay it out of pocket wiht money saved over the summer.

Or ...

Go back full time to school this August, and put the debt repayment plan on hold? Possibly meaning taking out a private loan if I can't get my current loans straight with the DOE?

Or ... Go to school full time in Jan, and spend the next 6+ months on a rapid debt repayment plan ... Paying off the loans from the last (failed) attempt at school ($3000), the car (1000), the credit cards (3000), and possibly the personal loan from my parents (5000). I'd also like to aim to get about $2000 saved during this time.

So, what would you do? There is the possibilty of going to take one class this August, and still being able to tackle the debt and do some massive savings as well. I think I am just scared of getting in over my head. And also terrified of not doing well in college this time around ... but I think that's normal.

I've been in a rut lately, where I know I want to go back to school (fingers crossed for August!) ... but I didn't know what I wanted to do.

Finally, I have figured it out!

I will be going to the local community college starting in August (as long as I can save up $500 or so for books this summer) ... to get my AA. After that, I will transfer to one of the local schools (though I am not sure, there might be a relocation in sight for a different Florida school) for my BS.

I am going to go into a career as a Child Life Specialist, with a concentration in Pediatric Oncology.

I don't know if I have mentioned her before, but last summer I met a three year old named Peyton who is fighting a very brave fight against Leukemia. Needless to say, this little girl touched my soul. From the moment I met her, I knew I wanted to do SOMETHING to help children with cancer ... I just didn't know what.

Pretty much, what my job will be ... I will be there to help the kids and the entire family. You're in the hospital working with these kids, something to me that's so extremely important.

I was talking to Peyton's mom about it ... and she told me I would be amazing at this. I got pretty excited getting the "thumbs up" from a cancer mom. I'm pretty sure she has some insight in this.

So ... I can't wait to start school. I haven't been this thrilled with a course in my life ... probably since finding out I was gonna be a momma.

So, if you all that pray could say a quick one for my friend Peyton ... she's such an inspiration ... and I'll always be thankful for meeting this little girl.

Warning: This is going to be a sarcastic ride!

So ... I've found an amazing way to save LOTS of money. I mean, just oodles!

While you're driving home from picking your daughter up school ...let your brakes give out. Completely. Oh yeah, it's a thrilling experience. Luckily, we were on my parents street when I lost them ... and I don't know how far away, but it wasn't "life threatening" ... though I almost took out their trash can.

Let me say though ... I'm saving boatloads of money! I've been carless for about 4 days now ... and other than the cost of parts I am going out to buy tomorrow ... I haven't been able to spend any money lately. YAY! There's no way to "run to Wal-mart for a couple of things" that I just "have to have!" Darn.

I'm also on the same tank of gas from two Fridays ago ... and with half a tank left in it. Of course, that doesn't hurt that I am now living at my parents, maybe a mile or two down the road from work. Yeah ... it doesn't get any easier than this.

My friend and his brother and law were going to work on my car tomorrow ... but his dad was put in the hospital this morning for a possible heart attack. We are all very worried, since the man keeps saying things like "If something happens to me ..." or "You all know you have to take care of your mother ..." Of course, we're all hoping he's just worried, worried about being in the hospital, worried b/c he could be sick ... you know, not that the doctors have told him something and he doesn't want to tell the family. His wife had a stroke last year ... and he's obviously very worried about her. These people aren't "old" by any means ... but it's shocking when you see the mortality of your friend's parents up front.

Needless to say ... I am ready for this week to be over!

Oh, and the new Bank of America ATM's SUCK for deposits. UGH!

Ok ... for the first time in a really long time, I was able to get my tank all the way down to pretty much empty. I was coasting in on fumes (probably not that extreme) ... but you get the point.

It took $45 to fill up my tank.

OUCH!

That's really not all that bad though, and now I know what to base my gas budget on. I don't think I have to add any to it quite yet ... right now I budget $40 a week, and that is usually more than enough, but I know in the near future I am going to have to up it to $45.

I won't complain though .. my mom's tank takes about $70 to fill, and that lasts her about a week. Luckily, she's a teacher, and summer vacation is nearing ... none too soon, I might add. For the first time the entire time my mom has worked for this school system (10 years) they are offering "hard ship" moves for teachers. Letting teachers move to schools closer to their homes, even in the middle of the year. My mom only has one year left where she wants to stay at her current school, but after that, she is going to start thinking about moving to a closer school. She told me she passes seven elementary schools on the way to work, but my sister is about to enter the 5th grade and my mom wants to keep her at the same school for the whole time. Admirable point, but an expensive one in this day and age.

BTW, my goal last week was to wait until Wednesday to get gas, and I was able to (somehow) squeak by until today ... that's pretty awesome in my book!

So, technically not related to my budget at all ... but my brother is back in California after his tour in Iraq. YAY! This is really spectacular news.

He'll be in Florida with us in May for three weeks. My mom is thrilled, though agonizing over what to get him for Christmas ... but all that matters is he is home safe and sound.

Now to get Juliette to react positively to him ... she's been extremely anti-boy for the past couple of months now, and I don't want her to be negative to Will. I think it will crush him.

Sometimes it's hard for me to stay focused on my initial goal ... to get out of debt. It's easy to get in a mindframe of "Hey, I want to save up money to buy a nicer car." How easily one forgets that said mindset is the exact same way someone got in this place to begin with.

I've been really stressed about the move lately, mainly b/c my roomies are complete slobs and haven't done a THING to clean up ... but hey .. I shouldn't be surprised. However, they are moving SATURDAY! so lots of cleaning onmy end will take place once all of their junk is out of my way. I have to keep reminding myself of Saturday, or I might go crazy. Seriously.

Speaking of the move, I have almost al of our things sorted through, almost all of the laundry is done ... now I just have to actually put things in boxes. YAY! I feel accomplished.

Another thing I have to keep in perspective is tips. Lately, I have been bummed about the money, b/c it's just honestly not what it used to be. However, not only do I have to remember that the economy is down (way down in some aspects) but that I'm honestly not working as crazy ass of a schedule as I have in the past. I used to work 8am-4pm on Sundays and walk out with $130 ... lately I've been pulling 9am-2pm, and making $100. While the numbers aren't the same ...that's still GREAT money. It's just easy to get discouraged when I look at last years number and see the difference. I could go back to te crazy hours ... but I don't know if I want to.

On a good note ... I only used 3/4 of a tank this week. AWESOME! And techinically, that was over an eight day period ... so that's really really good in my book. I put $30 in my tank today, and I am going to try to stretch it for the next week and a half. I don't want to fill up until NEXT Wednesday. Fingers crossed!

I got a call from my friend Margaret tonight "Amanda, will you come watch Odin for a little bit so we can go see the new baby?" Margaret's sister-in-law delivered a very healthy 9lb 4oz little boy today ... so of course I didn't mind.

Until they were gone for four hours.

I love my friends, but at least warn me that you're going to be gone to nearly 9pm so I can feed my daughter something before we come over. I picked Juliette up straight from school so they could head over there.

So Julie had three(ish) bowls of Kix cereal (momma helped). They had "Handy Manny" on them, so she was all about this cereal. And three pieces of cheese. YUCK! Whatever, she's so small for her age, I think she needs the extra calories. I had to run to walmart for a couple of things after watching him, and she did pretty well, since it was nearly 10pm. I never like being "that parent" with the screaming kid in the store past their bedtime ... but after having the "talk" with her (Juliette, stop it or we go to the bathroom for a spanking sort of talk) she was pretty well behaved.

Except for in the bathroom (but we were there for a potty break, not corporal puishment ... yay!) when she decided to start talking back AND talking under her breath. Who replaced my sweet toddler with a teenager?!?!! We've been using soap when she spits at me, talks back or lies ... these are pretty big deals in my book ... but obviously you can't use soap on a toddler 80 times in a day. It starts to loose the effect. I can now pick up the soap bottle, and she's changing her tune ... I didn't believe my mom when she told me that your children have to fear you. So, in the bathroom ... I get as close to on her level as I can ... and threaten with tabasco.

Just so we're clear ... I don't like a lot of pepper on my food. If I did have to follow through and use tabasco, I'd have to go out and buy a bottle of it. By the time I actually got to the store and back ... I'm pretty sure she would have completely forgotten her offense. Needless to say, I'm blowing smoke up her butt, and praying she doesn't realize it. I'm pretty sure that she's never even seen tabasco ... let alone knows that it's spicy ... but I really need to nip the talking back/spitting thing in the bud .. as in yesterday. Let me tell you, I've never seen a child snap back into place so quick in all my days. It was like instant *wham!* momma's serious, and I think she might kill me sort of straightening up. LOL. Sweet, the threat is still enough.

As we're washing our hands, a woman leans over and says "I used vinegar on my kid's when they talked back or spit." Instant light bulb over my head, since I do always have vinegar in the house. I love the crazy mom advice that I get from strangers in bathrooms too ... it's really pretty creepy the way people will open up to you in a public place like that. It's kinda like "Been there, done that ...here's how I survived!"

Oh, and the expenses from the new baby came after we left walmart and Julie saw the Sonic across the way "Momma, can we eat there ... I'm really really hungry." (You can reread the beginning to realize why I thought ths was a pretty hilarious statement.) But, since I had starved my child that evening ... I let her go to Sonic's for a cheeseburger and a milkshake ... she drank like three sips and ate a bite of her cheeseburger and was out like a light.

I love my child ... but I'm glad I got the stubborn one first! Before children I wanted 5 kids! What was I thinking?!?!

This week, I was about $10 in cash too short for daycare. I really didn't want to "dip" into my checking account money or anything in savings ... I like to pay for daycare in cash that I put into envelopes. It doesn't make a lot of sense typing that out ... but the system works for me.

I decided to go cash in some change that I had laying around, keep the $10 in cash I needed and deposit the rest as a sort of "bonus".

Imagine my surprise when I was cleaning out my aprons from work and came across $80 in cash! LOL. Last week was pretty hectic going back and forth between my parents and my place (they were out of town) so somehow I threw an apron in the back of my car and didn't grab out the cash to put the money away. This is so NOT like me at all ... I'm very anal about my money, and deposit it as soon as I make it so I don't spend it.

OOPS!

So, instead, I made a nice addition to the challenge ... $50 in change (YAY!) and a $60 paycheck. So, $110 total ... the $70 went into the envelopes like it should have ... sometime last week.

$20 challange - $253.00
newest addition +110.00
-----------------------
$363.00

BTW, I am starting my $20 challenge again ... I haven't added any money to it since Jan ... how easily I get off track with things is a bit frightening.

So ... I've been trying to clean the entire townhouse, pack and well, you know ... do the normal things I usually do. My roomies haven't put in any sort of hint of effort ... and that's fine ... whatever. I really need/want my deposit back, so I guess I'll have to do all of the work. Which is why I am terrified about living with friends again ... but my friends are going to own the house, and I've told them if they act like this I will move in a heartbeat (I've been promised about a million times that nothing like this will happen, fingers crossed!)

So, my quick cleaning tip. Mr. Clean Magic Erasers are pretty freaking needed if you have a dear little toddler who sometimes let's her paint splash on the walls. I put a dab of hand soap on the eraser ... and *poof* like magic, it was gone. I thought I was going to have to repaint her entire little area ... b/c she gets a little carried away. Nope, it's all gone! YAY! She's also got expo marker on the front door tonight (she was holding it in her hand ang trying to close it after me.) I panicked, tried a couple of different things and then tried the eraser ... Wow, it worked. Right off, barely any scrubbing involved.

Needless to say, I'm sold. It's also worked really well with "Kaboom" at getting our kitchen tile clean ... triple yay! The grout was getting a little, icky, and no amount of mopping was getting it back (what's up with that!) ... eraser and kaboom ... it's almost perfecty white again.

I never in a million years thought I would be this excited about cleaning products ... sigh.

Sigh.

Two nights ago, Juliette was sitting in my lap and we were watching tv. On the show, two little friends were fighting, but they made up and hugged. Aww! Until my daughter decided that it would be the best time to hug me ... and smacked me so hard she broke my nose. LOL ... ouch! And this is the second time she's broken my nose, one time it was as a tiny little thing ... maybe right at a year when she head butted me ... on accident again.

The swelling is going down ... and the pain isn't as bad ... but ouch! The thought of them rebreaking my nose sounds pretty ... well, not in the work ... so I'm just dealing with it. I didn't do anything about it the first time (no reason to according to the doctor) and now my nose is just starting to get some "character."

And can I just say that I remember the pain from Julie breaking my nose so much more than the pain from her birth. What's up with that?!?!

Last week was a windfall of unpleasant news. Luckily, things are quickly turning around.

1. And this makes me the happiest! My brother wrote to me on myspace that he'll be home in May. We thought he was coming home from Iraq in April, but maybe he means he'll be in Florida in May? Who knows ... just great news, b/c we don't really hear from him all that much.

2. Julie's dad called me today to tell me he's going to give me $220 on his next paycheck. I REALLY have my fingers crossed that this actually happens, but he's the one who brought it up, so maybe, just maybe, he means this.

3. My bestfriends are married and have a son together. Well, with the help of his familly, they are buying a house. I was talking about renting an apartment, and they asked me to move in with them. It's a 4bd/3ba house, so Julie and I will have our own space. It's got a HUGE fenced in backyard, and a patio ... everything Margaret and I were talking about "wanting". They offered to let me just pay utilities and just save up as much money as I could. I told them it was something I could very much do for a couple of months, and then I would have a lot of money saved to move into a nice(er) apartment than the low-income one I was looking at.

Well, Patrick *one of my closest friends, I've known him since I was 16* said "Why don't you stay with us for a year or two? Then you could save up enough money for a downpayment on your own house and everything would be easier for all of us."

SOOO, I think this is what I am going to do. We had a very serious discussion that if at anytime any of us are about to murder the others, instead of loosing the friendship, Julie and I will move. We all seriously doubt this will happen, but after the year I have had with my roomies, I don't want to loose anymore friends. Julie and I are at their house nearly three nights a week for dinner anyways, which I know isn't the same ... but I think it will save us all on gas to just live together. LOL.


So ... fingers crossed that everything good actually works out! There's a lot of bad on this end as well, so triple fingers crossed that everything works out on that end as well.

I don't know what else to call him anymore. Scum bag is a pretty accurate term. Sperm donor is pretty mean, but the truth for the most part.

Back in Feb. I met this amazing guy who I began seeing. Amazing guy is well, more than a few years older than me, but we have lots in common. I was complaining to him one night about Juliette's father, how I wanted to go into his job and make a scene. Well, how I honestly wanted to castrate him, but that seemed to be going a bit too far. Jeremy looked at me and said "Why don't you?" I was assuming he was talking about going into his workplace and talking to him, not the later. I realized at that moment I was dragging my feet, being scared of the unknown ... which isn't fair to either my daughter or I.

So, we went to his place of work for dinner one night. I was positvely shaking, so nervous I could barely eat. He came over and said "Hey ... I wish you guys would have told me you were coming." I swear, he actually said that. I looked at him and said ... "Weeeellll, considering I don't have your phone number or address, that's a little hard." He apologized, got my new number and promised to call me.

And he actually did.

Over the course of the next month or so, we've talked a couple of times, but he hasn't offered to come and see her. He's talked to her a couple of times on the phone, but ... even though we live about five minutes apart, hasn't taken it further than that yet. Juliette, once she saw him at the pizza place, hasn't asked to see her daddy anymore. She was getting to the point where she was crying for him, which broke my freakin heart.

During one of the phone calls, James offered to pay me $110 a paycheck to help with her. He's supposed to start after his first paycheck in April ... so, maybe this week sometime? We're currently waiting for a court date on child support, so this is pretty awesome news in my mind. I know not to count my chickens and all, but I am really hoping he's "seen the light" and wants to help out. He has never given any money for her, and when he was around at the beginning, his contributions were a case or two of diapers and some formula. I'll be so freakin thrilled if he actually starts helping.

So, a tiny update ... maybe we'll have lots more to update on by the end of the year. Fingers crossed!

My darling daughter is really a ball full of energy. I love her to pieces, but I can some stories that would make anyone question if they really ever wanted to have children.

Last night, she decided to try to jump off the couch. I was cooking dinner, and after repeated "No's!" I watched her fly through the air ... and right onto the laundry basket. CRACK!

She got up and came running into the kitchen.

"Momma, I think I broke your basket."
"Julie, I know you broke my basket, are you ok?"
"Yeah, I'm good. I wanna try that again!"

Sigh ... maybe there's hope for her in clown college or something.

But, I am proud to say that I went to Target for a new landry basket and walked out with ONLY a new laundry basket. I really think that's a first for me. I didn't even stop at the Starbucks. LOL.

A coworker of mine has one of her daughters enrolled in the local headstart program, and I was practically begging her for some infomation on it. Julie's father has offered to help me pay part of the daycare cost, even though we don't have a court ordered child support enforcement in place, but he wants to pay me around $220 a month and daycare is $540. While his money will help me BIG time ... with the move and everything, I am still looking to be a bit short.

Most of you know I am a server, and I am really honestly, pretty scared about what's going to happen with my line of work if the economy starts tripping. If things are already getting tight over here, I don't think I can make the belt any tighter.

Well, I got a call from my coworker tonight. She has the application and everything I need to turn in. AND, if I get the application in by April 10th, I will be put on the waiting list for the June enrollment. Supposedly from what she was telling me, the program runs 5 days a week at a local elementary school from 7:30am-5:30 pm. It is closed Christmas break, Spring break, and according to my coworker for only 2 weeks out of the summer. It's a free program, which would help soooo much! I also already have an agreement with my friend that she will watch Juliette during the off weeks for $75. I can handle $75 a week!

So, keeping my fingers crossed that I actually am considered to make a low enough wage for this bit of government aid. So far, I've pretty much been laughed at when I apply for anything. I don't make a lot, but I guess I make more than most?!?! I don't know. I also hope that Julie's father actually starts sending me some money every month. Hey, she's only three ... I mean, better late than never, right?

I am on of those people who pretty much over analyze everything. I hate that I do that, but it's pretty hillarious to watch what I do and don't spend money on, where I "hide" it from myself. Things of that nature.

In an effort to keep myself strictly under budget this month, I'm gonna track things here. They won't be the most interesting updates, but damn, I might know how many times I find myself at Starbucks for some coffee (or McDonalds, let me just say I am in love with their caramel iced coffee.)

Income for this month:
April 1st - $0

Money spent:
April 1st - $20 at Target. (This included some new socks and an outfit for Juliette). $135 for daycare for the week.

Dinners made -
April 1st - Tonight will be spinach and mushroom pizza, homemade. Today I also was good and ate both breakfast and lunch at home.

Chalenge money -
April 1st -$0

Last night's dinner was amazing. I've made it before, but this time it came out so much better. I fixed Juliette ravioli for dinner b/c it's her favorite thing and I knew there was no way in heck I was going to get her to eat the chicken. I knew she thought it would look "weird" and well, I wanted to enjoy my dinner.

Sure enough, as I sat down a few hours later with my plate of food, she looked at me and said
"What's that?"
"Chicken, potatoes, and squash."
"Oh, I don't think I like chicken."

Riiiiiight. No, you like chicken, you silly ridiculous picky eater. You eat chicken nuggets like they are going out of style. Then, she pointed at the squash.

"Ewww, what's that?"
"Don't say "Eeewww" about peoples food, it's rude. And it's squash. It's good. It's a vegetable."
"Oh, I don't eat vegetables."

I would worry about her lack of weight gain, if she ddn't eat more than I did!

With the extra chicken, I pulled as much off from the bones as I could, and probaby sometime later this week we'll have chicken noodle soup. The last time I made chicken noodle soup, I add celery too it and got "scolded" for it.

"But, moooom, I don't like green beans!"
"It's not green beans Juliette, it's celery."
"What's celery?"
"It's a vegetable, it's really yummy. Try it."
"Oh, I don't like vegetables. And, yuck, you put carrots in here too?! I don't like carrots."
"Don't say "Yuck" about people's food Juliette, it's rude."

Needless to say, if I waited for her to like something I've cooked ... well, I might have lost more than 25 pounds at this point!

My goal for this week is no more Starbucks. Seriously, I don't know if I can do this. I think one trip a week is more than enough, and well, I used that trip yesterday ... so ... no more Starbucks this week!

Sometimes life just throws me for curveballs, and it takes all of me to just steer this boat we are on.

Here's to hoping for a great April. My goals are simple, to keep spending down, to cook more at home, to move (and keep those costs down as well).

Tonight for dinner is a rosemary crusted chicken, with potatoes and squash. YUM!

Also, I have lost 25 pounds so far this year (just from eating out less and drinking less soda) so I need to add that on to the total.

Nope, I'm not pregnant and don't plan on being one for awhile, but I "borrowed" my friend's baby yesterday. He's three months, and they really wanted to be able to have a nice Valentine's Day together, and their baby sitter bailed at the last minutes. I offered to take him ... and wow, it was a lot of fun!

I've always wanted more than one child, and now I can't wait to have another. I wouldn't mind having another one by myself, but of course, I would want to be better off in my financial situation. Obviously.

Anywho, we had an awesome night. My daughter is in LOVE with babies, so I was really curious to see how she would take to having him around. The only time she was jealous was when I was holding him when we stopped for dinner at Moe's ... mmm Moe's ... and she wanted me to hold both of them. She's 30lbs and he's 15lbs ... needless to say, that was heavy.

So ... since I am not in the spot to have another child, at least for the next couple of years ... I offered my services as a free babysitter as often as once a week. I know how stressful it is to have a new baby, and since they are both my best friends in the whole world ... I want to make sure their relationship stays strong. PLUS, if I do decide to become a single mother of two ... well, I'll be able to cash in on free babysitting for a number of years. Tehe .. there is always a method to my madness.

Whew ...

I love Florida. Today we were hit with a monster of a storm (though, not nearly as bad as other storms have been around the country, thank goodness.)

It all started around 4pm today, right around the time I was getting ready to leave work. That's when they made the announcement to the employees ... there was a tornado warning. Normally, these things don't scare me, but when I am not with my child, well, I get worried. So, I decided to leave (my shift was over, I just didn't want to leave b/c of the storm.) My boss comes up and asks me to stay for a minute, to see if the storm settles a little ... but I am still a little worried since my daughter isn't with me ...

Then my manager comes up to us and says "Remember ladies, if something does happen, the safest place in the building is the walk-in cooler." So ... in case you didn't know, if a tornado is coming, run to the walk-in cooler. I filed this under "Crap I don't want to ever have to use."

So, after waiting for about 15 minutes (the rain finally started letting up) I ran for it. I love how people run through the rain. We aren't made of sugar, you aren't going to melt ... but I ran for it as well. Cracks me up. What, am I afraid I am going to get wet!?!? The drive to Julie's school was pretty uneventful, the traffic was actually doing the speed limit (shocking!)

At Julie's school, they have a great rainy day procedure. You park two cars at a time under the cover and they run and get your child for you. I should mention it was lightning pretty bad at this point. After I got Julie buckled into the backseat, we drove home. Again, people were actually doing the speed limit! I was sooo surprised. I am sure this isn't something unique to Florida, but since most of us are pretty used to horrible weather, people seem to drive like insane morons when it's pouring outside.

We get home ... and was 5:30. It took over an hour and a half to leave work, get Julie and get home. It usually takes 45 minutes. WOW. I decided to check the news ... since we loose power in the house usually with the first flicker of lightning.

Our cable is out ... ugh. I called and called ... and it's out around this area a lot. Strange that I have internet, but not complaining. The only thing I really wanted to watch was the news ... since a tornado hit near my g-ma's. I quickly fixed dinner, and made sure we had candles and flashlights.

So far though, we haven't lost power. YAY! I called my mom ... and supposedly the really bad storms are coming around 2am ...so I don't know how much sleep I will get tonight. Flashights/candles are on the bar just incase. I also made sure there was room for us in the closet ... just in case.

However, my roommmate has come downstairs FOUR times asking if the cable has come back on. She's more annoying than my daughter. LOL.
Me: Did you check your tv?
Roomie: Yeah, nothing. Did you call the cable company?
Me: Nope, not since the last time I called.
Roomie: Oh. Man. I was hoping they would have let us know something by now.
Me: Well, when I called before ... remember, I told you they said a lot of cable was out ... I don't think that's changed much ...
Roomie: Yeah ... I know.

ARRGH. I wish I could sit the roomie infront of "Little Mermaid" that's been keeping Julie pretty occupied.

So ... on to the things I learned toda:
1. Walk-in coolers are reinforced, therefore making them safe during tornados.
2. Roommates can be more annoying than small children if they don't have cable.
3. I have WAY to much stuff in the freezer, so I am hoping we don't loose power for any length of time. Seriously, how many people do I think I shop for?!?!
4. Driving in the rain isn't fun .. but when people do the speed limit ... it's actually a little enjoyable.
5. My windshield wipers make an annoying squeaking noise. Oh, and driving without a/c and with the windows up is HOT.

LOL, needless to say, it's been an enjoyable day. I'm looking forward to tomorrow ... a beautiful day off. Complete with baking cookies to send to the troops and cupcakes for Valentine's Day for Julie and my coworkers. Who says I'm not nice/

Well, Julie and I have been working on potty training for like ... ever. Seriously. She started doing #1 on the potty way back at 18 months. She LOVED going potty. It was fun, it was new.

And then it stopped.

Finally almost a year ago, she got really into #1 on the potty again. YAY! It was a constant thing, something she was really into. YAY! But, no #2. Nothing.

So, last week, Julie and I had a discussion.

Momma: So, what if you got something really cool if you go poop on the potty.
Julie: No, I like to go poop in my big girl panties.
Momma: But isn't going poop in your panties YUCKIE?
Julie: Nope, I LIKE it. A LOT.
Momma: What if you got something really cool, like tattoos when you go poop on the potty.
Julie: Hmmm ... let me think. What kinda tattoos?
Momma: I don't know. Let's look online. Oooo, look Monkey tattoos, that would be neat.
Julie: I MIGHT go potty if you got me some monkey tattoos. I really like the purple one.

So, the next day I went to the local party store. Of course, they didn't have any monkey tattoos, but I picked up Strawberry Shortcake and My Little Pony ones. My options were really limited. I brought them to school to show her, and her teachers made a HUGE deal out of it.

AND, it worked!

So far, she's gone three out of the four days with the new tattoos as an incentive. One of those days was my sisters birthday, so ... I'll be ok with an accident that day. In a pull up, we were prepared that day) ...

Of course, I have $30 worth of pullups .... lol. I guess "blowing" the $4 on tattoos is a bargain compared to all the extra pullups I might end up with.

So, fingers crossed that the tattoos don't loose their appeal. Oh, and if you live near us ... don't look at the mom with the crazy child who is covered in tattoos. Seriousy, I am wondering what the people who see us think about us. LOL.

So ... I don't have exactly the best car ever. But, I'm learning to love it, and use it to my advantage (as in, if it's running, that's a good thing). With whats coming back in a refund on my taxes, I am paying off the rest of the car and doing some pretty big repairs on the darned thing (new brakes, new tires, oil change (which isn't big, but needed) and who knows what else ...)

So yesterday on the way to Target I go to roll my window up (I live in Florida, and haven't had a/c for almost a year, UGH) ... and nothing. Not a darn thing. Oi! So, this happens sometimes, and I don't want to think anything of it. Run inside Target for the few things I need (and forgot the milk!) and then off to get Julie from school. After getting back home, and playing outside for a little while ... I try the window. Still nothing. Oh crap.

I called my mom, who told me I was pretty much SOL until the morning. So, it was calling for rain and I was just hoping it didn't. Plus, we have racoons the size of dogs living around here, and I was just hoping I didn't wake up to one in my backseat. I didn't have masking tape to do the redneck trick of garbage bagging the window.

Off to my dad's this morning ... and he was able to take the door off without much hassel and put it back on ... and he locked the doors. This is important, since I didn't know the doors LOCKED, ever since my car got broken into LAST Christmas Eve. All in all, took about an hour, and most of it was trying to put the door BACK on. He only stripped one screw, so sometime this week I have to stop and see about getting a new screw.

So yeah, door's fixed ... window is back in the up position (and my dad turned off the motor so I can't be retarded and try to roll it back down ... smart dad) .. so we close the doors ...

With the keys on the front seat.

Are you kidding me!?!?!

It wouldn't have been a huge deal, despite the fact I had an hour until I needed to be to work, and my shoes and everything for work were sitting on the front passenger seat. I think they were mocking me.

I got frustrated and slammed my hands unto the drivers side window, and somehow it magically came down about 1/4". I'm talking about the second window, not the one we just fixed. So, off to find SOMETHING that will be able to work in this tiny crack in the window.

I managed to find a fly swatter ... which after 40 minutes of working ... managed to get the window undone! YAY! I had enough time to get dressed and head off to work, and make it there less than three minutes late. I was about to call into work when my dad managed to get the lock undone. YAY again!

Did I mention that the main reason I went to Target was to get a kitty litter pan? And when I took it out of the car, it was broken? I used a check to pay for everything at Target ... and instead of refunding the money since it was BROKEN, I got a giftcard. I could have waited 7-10 days .. but I took the giftcard and bought a couple of things I had been putting off ... milk, yogurt for Julie, cake mix for Valentine's Day .. nothing crazy.

Of course, I'm really glad I didn't call in. I made $105 today, working 5 hours. $21 an hour .. I can't make anything like that around here without some sort of education ..and that's why I'm scared I'll be a server FOREVER.

There always seems to be a place to spend money, doesn't there?

This month, I am working really hard at staying out of the stores. Really hard. Don't worry, I am still finding plenty of ways to spend money. Seriously, what's up with that?

I am working on cooking out of our pantry/freezer this month. It's been pretty easy going so far, especially since we're at the beginning of the month ... but I am hoping to be able to get through this month and next with limited amounts of money spent at the store. Since we're moving in two months, it would be silly to move food with us .. unless we have to.

We've been having a lot of fun on Julie's bike. This has to be the best Christmas gift of the year. I thought she would be slightly interested in it ... but she is in love with this thing. I can't get her off the bike. I am thrilled that the apartment complex we are moving to has playgrounds and plenty of sidewalks for riding bikes. I am really thrilled with freebies we've been finding.

My mom took both of the girls (my sister who is 10 and my daughter) to see the Hannah Montana movie this weekend. It's all Julie's talked about. My mom bought her two shirts from walmart and a necklace ... but little girl LOVES Hannah Montana. LOL. Can you believe she spent $15 per ticket?!?! Jeesh!

This past weekend my momma was looking at tickets to see the Jonas Brothers. Two tickets, one for my sister and one for me to take her would have run my mother $88 after all the fees and things. My mom asked me what I would do ... LOL. Well, first I said save it, which she rolled her eyes at ... and then I slightly and not very calmly said "Disney!" For $88 we could get two adult tickets to the Pirate and Princess party. Now, I think $88 is a LOT of money, and I would honestly throw it at my debt ... but this is my mom's money so it's honestly up to her. She is looking into getting a spot for the RV, but it looks like it's out of the plan for Feb anyways since they are booked.

Oh well, what would you do with $88?

That's how much I spent in daycare last year.

OUCH!

Could you imagine if I could deposit that money into a savings account, with what's left of "decent" interest ... and add the $540 a month I am currently paying.

With compounded interest, from now until she's 5 ... that would be a pretty penny.

Thank goodness I LOVE my little girl and her daycare, b/c it hurts a little to think of how much money it is.

Today was a zero dollar day ... WOOT. I have one or two more days of planned spending this month, but I am aiming for zero dollars for most of this coming week.