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Letting people down .. not so easily

December 2nd, 2009 at 06:14 am

My work "friends" keep having parties. On days I work. And, they are upset that I won't request the day off or give up a shit to attend.

Seriously?!

Juliette's birthday is 1/2 .. which is a Saturday this year. I am considering not taking it off because of it being right after the Christmas holiday, when I am already going to be missing work (since work will be closed, no paid vacation days) and then two weeks after we're having her birthday party on a Saturday. I just can't afford to miss that many Saturdays in a row ... since usually they are good money days.

One of my friends had a baby shower a couple of Saturdays ago. I told her I would be there if I had the day off ... I didn't. She was upset, and I can understand that. Well, her boyfriends birthday is next week and they are having a huge party for him at Gameworks. However, it's on a Tuesday night. Tuesdays I always work, so I would miss work, have to pay for a baby sitter, and pay to go out ... sorry, no go.

Am I being mean?

When she handed me the invite she actually said "I don't know why I'm giving you this, it's not like you'll come."

Sorry, I'm having a hard enough time making my budget right now ...are you serious?

Another friend was throwing a birthday dinner for our friend at her house. She told me she wanted me to bring my daughter, and the night was a blast. I know I'm not old ... but I feel like it when they give me a hard time about not doing these things with them. One coworker was throwing a Halloween party, on Halloween night, and couldn't understand why I wouldn't go ... I'm serious. It just drives me nuts.

SOOO ... hopefully a new job will come along soon, with new people I can disappoint.

5 Responses to “Letting people down .. not so easily”

  1. whitestripe Says:
    1259741383

    oh, i *so* understand how you feel right now. it might not be exactly the same situation, but when I had just finished high school, I didn't have a job or a car and I didn't turn 18 until september (drinking age here), and I would get invited to parties or to go out with my friends from school. I couldn't go because I either was underage (to go out 'clubbing') couldn't get there or didn't have any money, not to mention the fact that I really don't like drinking that much. so about three months after school finished, I stopped getting invitations to go to parties - when I turned 18 I declined TWO offers to go out bar hopping, and didn't get another invite (I can't help it that I don't see the point in getting drunk with a room full of strangers and then paying $70 for a cab home). These friends stopped talking at all after that. Five years on I've realised that they aren't real friends, but at the time I was hurt because they could not see that I did WANT to spend time with them, just not when it involved getting drunk out of my mind.

  2. mimipaula1@yahoo.com Says:
    1259748504

    Find friends who appreciate where YOU are in life: single working mom with a three-year-old who needs your attention. The friends you have at this present time are in 'partying mode'; drinking, clubbing, no real goals for the future except more of the same is their agenda. You, on the other hand, are working to provide for your daughter, you want to attend college, and you'd like to own your own home. DO NOT MAKE APOLOGIES TO THESE PEOPLE FOR CHOOSING TO DO WHAT'S RIGHT: working hard, spending time with your daughter, saving your money, and choosing not to drink foolishly is the RIGHT thing to do. Pursue some interests where you can meet people who are like-minded and are frugal! How about checking out some places where you and your daughter can find new friends? At this time of year, most churches have LOTS to offer where you and your daughter can enjoy musical presentations, childrens' plays, and holiday gatherings and these are offered FREE! I hope these tips help and that you and your daughter will find new opportunities for friendship during this holiday season.

  3. momcents Says:
    1259763089


    You will always find people who are clueless as to where you are in life. My friend wanted to go to see Cirque du Soleil Cavalia (the horse show) and the tickets were $60 per person (not to mention parking downtown Chicago, etc.) She said "the kids would have fun seeing it." I am sure they would have had a grand time, but for six people (one parent/five kids) that would be $360. Then she seemed offended when I declined the offer.

  4. miclason Says:
    1259768770

    Don't feel bad. If they don't have children, or, if they are married, they don't really understand the challenges of being a single mom.

  5. reginaastralis Says:
    1259986497

    Thanks guys! It's just so past annoying. It's almost insulting.

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