Have you ever known something wasn't right, but you couldn't bring yourself to see it. Well, if not, subscribe to my blog. You'll see big WARNING lights that I just look at amusingly. Hmm, what are thoughs?!?!

Well, I posted about a silly apartment fight that Michael and I were having. Today I ended it with him. Not completely over the fight, but over the fact that he didn't understand why Julie's daycare wasn't a negotiable thing.

I didn't post much on here when my daughter first started her old daycare. I stayed at home with her for the first 16 months of her life, working nights while my mom was with her. She is a HUGE momma's girl. When she started daycare, it literally broke my heart. Here's a good place to input that I didn't want to have any children until I was 30 and I wanted to be a stay at home mom. I never thought I would have to put her in a daycare, but when a great job was literally given to me ... I knew what I had to do.

Personally, I cried the first three days dropping her off. Starting a job, sobbing hysterically probably makes your new boss wonder about you. Running out the door at lunch to go and check on your napping babe ... and then coming back crying REALLY makes you look like a weirdo. Juliette didn't do well with the transistion either. It took a good two weeks before she was excited about going to school.

A month or so after, they added a new classroom and Julie went into it. She started coming home with weird bumps and bruises, but we didn't think much of it ... then she got her finger caught in the door. I wasn't able to leave work, so my mom went and got her. They told my mom that they thought she was going to need stiches. My dad's a fireman/paramedic, so he went with her. She didn't need stiches but had a nasty bloody nail for a few months after that. Again, we didn't think much about it.

Suddenly, my sweet darling toddler was becoming this horrid monster. Again, we didn't think anything of it b/c she was at that "age" where kids are supposed to be a little bit meaner. One day I dropped her off early and watched as two parents pulled their kids out of the class b/c of unexplained bruises. Suddenly the light shone. Then Julie was becoming incredibly aggressive, and I watched her push the only two other boys left in the class ... and the teacher didn't say anything.

I cried again the whole way to work.

I started looking that day for a better daycare ... and I found the one she goes to now. Sure, it's not perfect. In fact, I don't really like one of the owners ... but my child is HAPPY. She loves talking to you about school, sings songs she's learned there ... and has even made some of those pieces of artworks I'll look back on in 10 years and boo hoo like a baby.

And THAT my friend *while incredibly long* is why I am no longer moving in with some crazy man with WAY to much drama. A coworker asked why I would possibly date a man with children, and now I see why. I don't want to deal with an ex forever. Of course, I'll more than likely fall madly in love with a man with adorable little children of his own ... but ... well, let's hope he's more responsible then someone who fights over a daycare.

I ended it ... and really looked at my budget. Am I really going to be able to do this?!!??!?!!??!

YES!

Is it going to be tough?

OMG, yes.

Rent: $640 a month, a two bed, two bath apartment. Literally less than a mile from my parents *sigh, will I ever get away?*
Washer/dryer: $37 a month
School loans: $50 a month *BA, wanna help me out?!?! wink*
Daycare: $130/week. $520/month *WOW, that's almost as much as I'll pay in rent. Seeing the actual numbers is sickening!*
Car payment: $380/month
Insurance: $200 (I think it's actually 125, though I'm not sure. The extra money is going to go into a car fund, in case things like having my car broken into happens again)
Julie's health insurance: $15/month
Cell: $60 *I think it's about to be less than that*
Electric: $100
Gas: $100
Groceries: $300 *I think that's extreme*
Gas for the car: $100 *again, extreme*

Grand Total: $2112

Not including raises - I bring home $2486 a month. Now .. most of the things I over budgetted, since I have never really lived on my own. It leaves me $300 left over pretty much a month. Of course I'd LOVE to start putting that towards payin back all my debt *I added it up the other day, scary*, and saving. I'm due for a raise in March, but I didn't work that in. Of course this includes working at Cracker Barrel. I feel like I am going to be working two jobs FOREVER! Also, while it includes Cracker Barrel, I know it's not 100% of my tips .. it's only what I claim. I usually make about $100 more a week than I claim *shh, don't tell Mr. Tax man, he's going to hate me* but whatevers left over will be used greatly.

So ... wish me luck. A lot of luck.