Now, whenever someone I know does something insanely stupid, I try not to say anything.

My boss bought a house she CANNOT afford, on an ARM mortage at that. Seriously?!

For the past month I've had to listen to her talk about this stupid house. Blah blah blah, my NEW house.

They signed on it this week. Since coming back to work, she's done nothing but look at ways to make the rest of her bills cheaper. Now, this is normally a good thing, but I'm talking about listening to "Hey, can I get a quote please" for four days.

Sigh. I can't say I never make stupid money mistakes. I am very good at making stupid money mistakes. I just cannot believe the stupid money mistakes people make.

I almost titled this entry Baby it's cold outside, but I didn't want to take away from BA's surprise.

Lesson 1: It gets cold in Florida
Lesson 2: Jackets are hard to come by on the night before a cold front.
Lesson 3: Never wait to the last minute to buy a jacket in Florida.

I had to run out last night and find a warm jacket since we have "big time business people" coming into the office today. I didn't think about it before hand, but an orange hoodie is NOT great business attire.

Sigh, got a sweater, a new shirt, an outfit for Julie *Christmas* and three puzzles for her *birthday or Christmas*

I then went out with my friend to Dennys fro a midnight dinner. I hadn't done this in years, and it was nice to sit and talk and eat horribly greasy food.

I was talking to my mom, and Julie saw snow yesterday. They woke up to snow flurries. Julie was all about touching it, she thought it was the cutest thing ever. They also rode a train up there, where they do a sort of "Polar Express", and Julie was screaming "SANTA!" when she saw him. I don't know how she knew who he was ... last year was her first Christmas and she fell asleep when we were last in line to have our picture taken with him. Apprently though, she thought he was pretty cool.

Tonight I have to drive out to Pinellas, an hour drive from work. Michael wanted to come over, but we're postponing it until tomorrow since he has to work so early. I think I'm going to go home and really get to cleaning and organizing. It's weird going home to an empty house.

On Saturday, to celebrate the fact that I could *even though I didn't really want to* I went to a party at my friends. I double and triple checked that James wasn't there, since they are friends with him as well. Was told by everyone that he had left about 30 mins before.

My friend and I went, I grabbed a beer and chatted a few minutes. It was just weird being there, I was really worried that he might show up again ... I just got an uneasy feeling. So I left.

When I went outside, my friend was standing by a car. I ran over to talk to him, even though the girl I was with told me not to, to just go *it was cold outside* I should have listened. James was sitting in the car.

It turns out he was waiting to talk to me, outside for 45 minutes. Everyone at the party thought he had left, but no ... he hadn't.

It was to cold to talk outside, so I invited him back to my place. I really needed a drink at this point, so he drove me home. Both friends outside at this point made me promise to not kill him. We got back to my place and talked for an hour and a half. He apologized, said a whole bunch of stuff ... includind asking me to move in with him in an apartment.

He says he's going to get the paternity test done, that he plans on paying child support. I don't believe him ... I really don't. But, it would be nice if he was being truthful and honest about everything. Needless to say ... I don't think he is.

Michael ended up coming over after James left. I was really just ... miserable after he left. We had a few good laughs about it ... Michael thinks he's being honest, but then again, Michael doesn't know him. It would be great if he was ... just amazingly great.

Moral of the story ... don't go to parties. EVER.

Julie is going with my parents out of town tomorrow morning ... so how in the heck am I going to spend the next nine days??!!?! I have to work, both jobs, a lot over the week. Infact, I'm actually working at Cracker Barrel on Thanksgiving, which is why I couldn't go with them out of town *I would have killed someone bein on an RV with my parents for that long, I really honestly don't mind*

Friday:
1. Go shopping for some warmer clothes for Julie. She really needs about five more pairs of pants, and some night clothes. I don't know how cold it is iin North Carolina, but well ... I'm sure it's colder than down here. A lot colder.
2. Do laundry.

Saturday: Freedom!
1. Clean out, vacuum, scrub down my car. My car is lived in ... it's getting pretty ... eeewwww. I just always put it on the back burner on my things to do list. Children should not be allowed peanut butter filled cookies if they are going to smear them on the car. My coworker gave me her sons old *in really awesome condition* car seat ... which is really really sweet. She was looking for a way to get rid of it ... and I happen to needed a new one.

2. Go shopping! Next week and the week after we have some really big clients coming into the office. We're about to expand big time .. which is scary. There are 11 of us in my department, we're about to grow to 75. But, the CFO of the company asked us to dress more business than casual. Sniff. We're pretty laxed at work, but I have a feeling my flip flops will have to be put away for the next couple of days. Oh well, I'm hitting up the mall for a couple of new outfits. AND, since I don't have to pay for daycare next week, I will NOT feel guilty about actually doing something for myself.

3. I'm dying my hair *if I have the time( tonight as well. I have to work 2 - close, but if I have time .. it really needs some color.

Sunday:
1. Work 8am-4pm. Or around that time.
2. Michael is coming over, and I'm going to cook for him. We're still in that weird "we have too much baggage are we sure this is going to work" stage ... so I'm going to wow him with my cooking. I'm thinking about stopping at Blockbuster and watching a cheesy horror movie ... horrorfest is this weekend, but he works retail so we don't have much time for that.
3. Freak out, b/c Michael is expecting me to cook seafood. Deer in the headlights look. I have no idea what I am doing, but my girl at work is bringing in some recipes and will be a phone call away for when I burn down my kitchen.

And that my friends, is my weekend. I don't know what I am going to do without Julie, but I'm sure I can make it through without her. I just can't wait until she's home for snuggles, I love snuggles. The best part, my best friend lives in Orlando for school ... and we never see eachother. She'll be home for Thanksgiving ... so I can taste a drink in our future. Plus, another friend still "owes" me drinks from my 21st birthday *I'll be 23 in three months, sigh*, so I think I am going to cash in that raincheck. I'm sure I can find something to do with myself over the next nine days.

By the way, I made sweet potato casserole this morning, from scratch. Holy moly. Never again, unless I figure out an easier way to mash sweet potatoes ...I'm pretty sure I gained some muscles ... somewhere.

Yeah, I thought it was a cute idea. Here's more than you'll ever need to know about me.

1. I love being single. So much in fact that I decided in five years, man or no man ... I'm having another child. It takes one man to ruin all the hope of any other man ever. How sad is that.

2. I remember no pain from my daughters birth. I was on six shots of drugs by that time ... and was honestly really messed up. I just remember thinking that my daughter looked like an alien. I can't wait to tell her that story when she gets older.

3. I've been to Disney more times than I can count. Julie's been 11 times. There is nothing like walking on Main Street and seeing the castle ... it takes my breath away everytime.

4. When I retire, my dream is to work at Disney. I want to be the Fairy Godmother.

5. In my day, I've met Tinkerbell and a girl who played Mickey Mouse. I love going to parties in Orlando and meeting the actual castmembers. Girls, all the princes are gay. Prince Charming hit on my friend ... it was the saddest night of my life ... but hillarious none the less.

6. I'm terrified of moving to fair away from my parents, but can't wait to leave.

7. My biggest fear is that Julie will hate me one day, for her grandparents and father living so close, but having nothing to do with her.

8. She's started screaming "Daddy" at night or when she's in trouble. It makes me want to break down and cry everytime she does it.

9. I hate text messaging, b/c I use improper grammar and it's just easier to misspell words.

10. I've almost gotten married twice, once to the man of my dreams, he's still a good friend. I was going to be an airforce wife. The second time was to Julie's father ... I'm really glad I didn't think it was a good idea at the time.

11. When my daughter is asleep at night, she looks just like her father. Amazingly so.

12. I have no idea what I want to do when I "grow up". I'm thinking about going back to school in the fall, but I honestly have no plans on what I want to do when I get there. That terrifies me.

13. I hate washing dishes. I think every house should have a mandatory dishwasher ... but a really good one. There should be no prewashing of dishes.

14. I love signing. I can't play an instrument to save my life. I tried the violin, guitar, and clarinet. Couldn't figure it out. Give me some sheet music and the key, and I'm gold.

15. I've sang in the Candlelight Processional about 9 times. I've never watched it ... but it's amazing. If you're ever at Disney for Christmas, go see it. It's unbelievable.

16. I was in show choir in highschool. The choir where they sing and dance ... none of my friends could get over that. I was the metal head rock girl ... in choir. I still laugh at their looks when I would sing for them. Nothing like hearing a choir girl singing Tool. It's hillarious.

That's about it ...

I have finally sat down and thought more about Christmas, and what Julie will be getting from me. I'm so happy to say that she'll be getting no toys that need batteries from me this year!

Now, if my parents would only listen. They plan on getting her a Dora the Explorer ride on jeep. I can see this ending badly.

Tonight after work I'm stopping by the consignment shop and picking up some new clothes for her. She really needs a couple more pairs of pants, especially since they are going to go to North Carolina for the week this Saturday.

I have to think of something to do with myself since I'll be home alone for 9 days.

This weekend was the weekend of the wedding.

We had a wonderful time. I drank way to much. Isn't that always the case when you don't let yourself go out and have fun ... you over do it. I didn't want to overdue it.

The wedding included all of my friends who were friends with James and I ... before the baby. A lot of them had written me off after listening to his lies ... so that was really really interesting. They all asked about her, told me they hoped I was doing well ... and then all yelled at me for not having filed for child support.

REALLY!?!?! After two years of these people telling me I was wrong ... now they're on "my side". I literally almost died I was laughing so hard at this point. Apprently I'm supposed to be the one to show him the right way. LOL. Oh, how joyous it really did feel.

I also found out he was evicted from his apartment, and they're now living in the extended stay suites. This made me laugh a lot too.

I spent about $100 on everything for the wedding, not including her gift. I'm taking full advantage of the fact that I get a year to get them a gift. Love her and all ..but I'm broke. Plus, I'm going to help her make the scrapbook ... so ... I have to find the right time to spring that on her.

Other than that .. it's a tight week, with the money for the car and the wedding and everything ... it really hurts to be this broke. LOL. Payday is Thursday, and then in two weeks we get paid again. Then I'll get to go Christmas shopping for the little one.

In response to a reader's question, I'm honestly not sure where I stand on the child support.

See, new guy has one of those "baby mama's" you read about. The kind that calls him up at all hours of the night asking for money. She called him and said she's being kicked out of her apartment and unless he can help her get a new one, the kids will be on the street. *This is where I ended it with new guy, for now ... I don't have time for that sort of drama*

See, my fear is ... I'll be that kind of woman. I don't want to wait every month hoping that the child support check is going to come in. I don't want to worry about how I am going to pay my bills, and to call her father crying. The fact that I ended a relationship with a guy I cared about b/c he was being milked by his ex fixes it for me even more.

Everyone in my family has faith that her father would pay ... but I don't yet. I don't have faith that he'll pay, and I am scared that I'll become dependent on him.

December 1st is the deadline I'm giving myself. I'll either file ... or write him out of our lives forever. I didn't realize it would hurt this much.

It's been almost two weeks since writing. Everday I think about posting, but something comes up ... I've just been so busy. I hate being busy and tired all the time.

So, since the concert, I've started seeing the nice guy I met there. I have had two free meals, yay for a new boy! LOL. He's a wonderful guy, has two little ones of his own ... things are looking pretty good.

Budget wise ... I've been doing horrible. I just spent $266 to repair my car b/c the starter went out. Luckily it happened last Thursday, payday. If it hadn't been payday, I wouldn't have been able to pay it. That's a scary thought.

I bought the dress for the wedding, got it for $58 on clearance. It's amazing. Looks great on me. I also bought a new pair of killer shoes, literally they kill my feet but they look hot ... so I guess it's worth it.

Last week I went out and bought myself a new outfit ... one of the first outfits I've bought myself in more than six months. That felt great. And my boy ... he was truely impressed ... and that's all that matters.

I have to give my friend an IOU for her wedding present. She's totally ok with it, and actually was the one to mention it ... she sits two seats down and laughed when my car died when I was on my lunch break from work.

I've been trying to be better about writing down my expenses, so I am going to commit to be better than that.

Also, Thanksgiving week, my paretns decided to go out of town. I can't go with them, so I won't get to spend Thanksgiving with Julie. I'm a little pissed about this ....... ok a lot. But, I am going to spend the time doing things I keep putting off b/c I'm too tired, do some Christmas shopping, and spend time with the new boy.

Things will be better.