I haven't quite finished all of my goals for the New Year, but there are a lot of things I want to accomplish this year.

I am currently in the process of looking for a full time job. Right now, I am unemployed, so even a part time job is ok with me. LOL, I'm not picky.

But, in all honesty. I am planning on changing a lot of things in my life this year. I want to do the "normal" things and loose weight and all that jazz, but I really want to work at simplifying our life. I wouldn't mind becoming greener in our life, and just working to become a little more frugal.

I gave up internet at the house, so I am hoping to post at least once a week from my parents house. I'll try to find the time to do it sooner than that, but we live about 20 minutes away from my parents right now, so it would be silly to drive over here more than necessary.

Hope everyone had a good New Year! Juliette turned four yesterday, so our New Year always seems to be a rush for me. I've got to get going to get the little one in bed.

For Christmas I want a pink laptop computer, that's real. Not pretend.

And a baby sister from my momma's tummy. Not the doll you got me last year. A real baby sister.

That's what Juliette asked for ... any guesses on what she's getting?


*************************************

A play kitchen and a vanity set. Anyone else think she's gonna be a little disappointed?

She even asked my brother for a pink computer. LOL. I thought she'd be at least 13 before she started asking for "big ticket" items.

Fingers crossed!

I have been looking for a new jib for awhile, and this is the first bite. I am ready to get out of the serving industry! I am completely done, and just looking for something "more" to say the least.

Here's to hoping!

On dates. Sigh and a LOL all in one on that one.

I'm young, really young. I don't necessarily think that my dating life is over, however, I have made the choice to be single. I am VERY happy with this choice right now. There is no one I am currently interested in dating, and if I were, I would want to take it at my own pace.

My mother, whether she is scared of being stuck with me forever or what, has decided to start scouting for "eligible" guys for me. At first, it was humorous. Now, it's getting almost annoying.

Her latest catch is a new teacher at her school. He is 30 and just into teaching (he isn't certified yet, he's degree is in finance). I know he is Spanish, and not much else about him. My mother started going on and on about him while I was helping her move last Friday. When I rolled my eyes at her, she gave me a look of defeat.

I want to look at her and scream "I'm HAPPY!" Seriously, I am. I don't want to date, and I certainly don't need my mother to scout out potential love interests. That's ... just weird. I've always been very independent. My mother has often, lovingly, called me her black sheep. It's true, I don't necessarily fit the mold of the family, but it's worked.

I think my mother is not only scared of the whole financial instabilities of being a single mom ... but I think she is secretly worried if I don't settle down soon, she won't get anymore grandkids. I have to laugh at the insanity of saying that out loud, but it's true. My brother is 22, and hasn't ever really dated a girl, let alone found "the one" and my sister is ten, so she better not even think about having kids for at least 15 more years, lol. I just wish my mother could see that I am happy. Happy with myself, happy to be single ... and certainly happy enough to know when I am ready to date.

And I swear, if she invites this man over for Christmas .. which I wouldn't put it past her ... I'm keeping the gift I bought her for myself.

I am about to cancel my cable/internet in a way to save money, but I am hoping to be able to keep up at my parents house.

My parents DID get the new house! YAY! It's such a nice house, and they got it for sucha great deal. I am very happy for them.

And me ... well, I am still trying to everything settled here. It's such a MESS! LOL. My parents are in the middle of still moving all of their stuff out, and most of my stuff is in boxes in the "spare" room. It's a pain in the rump! I am ready for them to get everything out so I can get settled in.

I am still looking for a new job, and hoping one is on the horizon soon. My brother is coming home for Christmas, for the first time in three years. I am thrilled with this.

I'm just hoping for a break in everything. I have been moving everything for the past three days, and I am pretty sure I am going to fall over in exhaustion.

My parents and I have been discussing lately about the possibilty of me buying their house from them. Their plan for just about as long as I can remember, was to take off this coming year from their jobs and go on a year long road trip around America. My dad is retired, and my mom is a teacher (she can take up to a year off, and still have her job when she comes back). But suddenly, they want me to buy their house.

I was ok with this. I have to find a new job either way. When my parents leave, working on the weekends like I do wouldn't make any sense. My parents currently watch Juliette for free for me on the weekends, making it affordable to work. I knew I was going to have to go back into a 9-5 job, and even though I didn't want to, I was ok with it.

Their mortage payment is about $800/month (including taxes and insurance) This is way more afforable than what I would find around here, and even cheaper than renting an apartment. I was ok with this as well.

Well, now they are chaning everything. They found a house they want to buy. This will put off their touring the United States for about a year, but this house is their "dream house". They are planning on putting in their application for it tomorrow ... it's dropped over $125,000 in price since it went on the market. It was built in 2006, and has never had anyone live in it, it's on over an acre of land. It's nice.

I'm freaking out at the thought of possibly being a homeowner in less than a month. I THINK I can make the bills (going to go and sit down with the numbers now) with my current job. There is a chance that I will just rent from them for right now ... and there is another chance that the bank won't let them hold both mortages. So ... everything is in a toss up.

And of course I'm a tad bit giddy at the thought of owning a home. I've lived here since I was eight ... and I would LOVE to tear down the horrid wood paneling and repaint the pink walls in the living room.

Fingers crossed that everything works out!

Tomorrow I am taking my sister (who's ten) to see High School Musical 3. The Girl Scout council rented out to auditoriums for the local girls *300 girls* to watch the movie. The price of the ticket was something cheap ... but we have to be there prior to 9am. Are you kidding me? That's insanely early to be in a room with a bunch of screaming preteens. Not looking forward to it ... bringing along a bottle of asprin with me.

I took Jordyn to see Hannah Montanna ... and well ... if it's anything like that, maybe my head will stop hurting next Wednesday.

After the *fiasco* showing of HSM3 ... we'll be driving down about an hour to go on the Pumpkin Express. The tickets cost $32 for Juliette and I, and this includes the train ride down, face painting, hay rides and our pumpkins. I'm pretty excited about this ... we wanted to go last year, but forgot to prepurchase our tickets.

This weekend, everything is either already paid for, or my mom is paying. So, cheap weekend. I also work a double on Sunday. I bought my mom's Christmas gift tonight at work, so I feel a little ahead of the game. That feels nice.

Juliette was needing a haircut like you wouldn't believe. My sweet little girl was ROCKIN a mullet. And not in a good way, at all. She had baby fine hair as the top layer, the curled. And then, on the bottom, had a straight layer that went down to her shoulers. WTF?

So I took her in for a haircut. We waited almost 2 HOURS. The lady said 45 minutes, and by the time I had convinced Juliette to sit still and realized we still had a way to go, there was no way I could let her leave. She was "scared" of the haircut place, "scared" of the people in it ... so we just sat and waited.

She did amazing for her haircut though. Once she realized what it was, she sat perfectly still ... didn't move a muscle.

The lady cut her hair way shorter than I wanted. I wanted a bob ... to get the ugly mullet gone ... and to make the layers work together. She cut almost all of her hair off. It's a cute cut .. .but it's short. It's a pixie instead of a bob. She looks so cute. The woman said by going this short (and cutting off all of her baby curls, sniff) that it would grow thicker and better together. I know nothing about cutting hair, but I hope so.

While it's adorable, I have to do a double take each time I look at my own child. LOL. One lady called Juliette a boy yesterday as well ... hahaha, oops. Luckily she was asleep, because Juliette doesn't play around, she would have told that poor woman what she thought about her.

She likes her haircut, and that's all that matters. Even if momma is tearing up about how short it is.

And of course I passed a different haircut place yesterday after getting her hair done, and it was Kid's Night, so half off hair cuts. Oh well, I don't know how I would have known that without driving to all the different hair places around here (and there are a ton!) I know for next time, and with her hair as short as it is, there won't be a next time for awhile.

Seriously, I'm starting to think it is.

I'm all for gas prices dropping. Since moving closer to work, and just changing our driving habits completely ... I've been able to make a tank of gas last for two weeks. (Awesome!)

Two weeks ago, I literally waited till I was pretty much as low as I am willing to go. Pratically on E. I paid $3.47 a gallon. Two days later, it was down to almost $3.00.

I filled up yesterday, again, pretty close to E (but higher than two weeks ago, honestly) and it was down to $2.77. I was pratically thrilled. I saved around $7 on gas. (Not to mention the fact that I'm filling up half as often as I used to). It's dropped .10 overnight. LOL.

I only bought yesterday to make it home tonight in time to watch the Rays. Can't believe their in the World Series (I do NOT follow baseball) ... but it wasn't that long ago that my parents would take my brother and I and a couple of our friends to the game for $10/ticket, which came with a coke and a hotdog. LOL ... I don't think you can even park downtown for that much now. My brother is TICKED. He's a huge fan, and he's out in California and won't be getting any sort of leave until a month or so down the road. So sad. Oh well, I have an idea of what to get him for Christmas.

Seriously, I can't believe there's a little over a week left of October.

The beginning of the month is always pretty slow for us ... the middle hits me hard, and I don't have time to breath, let alone post, and then at the end of the month, I'm just shocked that it's over.

Today was a NSD. We spent the day cleaning out the car. Tomorrow I will be taking it to vacuum the car out.

We also decorated some wooden Halloween "ornaments" (I'm not sure what these things are really called.) I picked them up on sale from Michael's earlier this month, they had markers to color on them with, and glitter glue. You would have thought Juliette had died and gone to heaven when I told her she could use the glitter glue. She literally asked me about 4 times during the hour we were outside.

The poor girl still hasn't recovered from coming up on Stella's (our kitty) latest hunting adventure. I don't know if your outside cats do this, but Stella LOVES to bring us birds (or lizards, or squirrels, you get the idea) and leave them on the front porch. Well, she left poor Mr. Birdie right next to Juliette's bike ... so we had a really quick talk this morning about why Mr. Birdie didn't live. Sigh. Poor thing, and early in the morning is just too early for the facts of life talk.

Is it wrong that I wish the cat would just eat the things she catches. She just leaves them on the doorstep as a sort of offering. How wasteful, Stella.

Sigh.

I'm really trying to keep it all together with Juliette, but seriously, I am a little over it.

I've been very sick. I thought it was a really bad cold, but I think it's allergies. It's been affecting work, and everything else in my life.

Tonight, Juliette peed all over my mom's leather couch. UGH! I understand accidents, but this wasn't an accident. She purposefully sat on the couch, peed a couple of minutes later, and then told my mom "I didn't have time to go potty!"

I'm trying to keep my cool with her. Now that I've found a decent allergy medicine, I feel like I can function. I am so looking forward to Jan when my health insurance kicks in. I can't wait to see an allergist.

A girl I used to know in high school had gotten married and moved in down the street from my parents. We weren't exactly friends in high school, but knew eachother. My parents neighborhood was built in the early 60's, but during the boom the houses were going for $150-175,000. Our neighbors across the street bought their house less than 2 years ago, and are trying to sell now. I don't know for sure what they paid for, I believe it was right around $155,000, but they have it listed right now for $110,000. There have been no interested buyers. The man who lives there put in around $20,000 worth of improvements. Needless to say, if they are able to get a buyer, they are taking a HUGE loss.

Anywho, back to the girl I used to know. She and her husbnad had two girls failry quickly, and then suddenly, the house was one the market. It also didn't have any takers, and I think they even put it down to about $90,000. These houses are on the small side and just need some work, so their really haven't been many takers, obviously. Then suddenly, the house wasn't on the market anymore, and they were making improvements to it. They did some things on the inside, and also put a fence around the property.

Last week, the moved. According to my sister's friend (who is all of 8) they were letting the house go because they couldn't afford it anymore. They were also leaving their car to be taken away as well. I don't know how much you can trust an 8 year old, but they did pack up and leave.

Here's the strange part. The people who live across the street, they have been at the house. Parking there and doing work on it. I don't know if they are staying there, but there was carpeting removed (and left on the ground outside the house), and I often see the granddaughter (who is my age) sitting on the front porch swing. While that is weird enough, we just thought maybe they were buying it from the couple or something.

Then, to make it even weirder ... the guy who lives two houses down was painting the house today .... WTH? My only guess is the couple sold it to their neighbors across the street (an older couple) and it looks like their daughter and granddaughter are living in it. Heck, maybe their just staying there until it's foreclosed ... but isn't that just weird.

Shockingly enough, we've only had two houses go into foreclosure so far in our neighborhood. There are a couple for sale, but it looks like most everyone knows there's no way they are going to be able to "move up and on" like they could have in the past. Even the house a couple of houses down is still being kept up by the family of the man who used to own it. He died well over a year ago, and no one is living there, but they keep the grass mowed and the house kept up. They told my parents they didn't want to sell it for such a loss. I don't know if the market will recover here anytime soon ...

My parents had a plan to sell the house this Spring, and take their RV and go. However, their plans are changing, that's for sure.

October Income -
October 1st: $70
October 2nd: $0
October 3rd: $82 in tips. $63 on my check.
October 4th: $85. We were pretty slow again today, except for the 30 top. Who comes in with 30 people and expects to be seated together, in a place with no banquet type room ... these people. They weren't too bad, a group of teenage cheerleaders ... and some parents.


October Spending -
October 1st - $0
October 2nd: $20
October 3rd - $0
October 4th - $19 - at walmart finally. I bought a couple of things we didn't really need (some gum, a couple of sodas and a cup for Juliette) The rest was stuff to make pumpkin pie and some juice for Juliette.

October Income -
October 1st: $70
October 2nd: $0
October 3rd: $82 in tips. We were pretty slow for a Friday, since the Rays are in the playoffs. I guess a lot of people were watching the game. I still made really good money though, so yay! I also remembered to get my check, which was for $63.


October Spending -
October 1st - $0
October 2nd: $20
October 3rd - $0

I really needed to go to Walmart for a couple of things today, and then was going to get $40 on a gift card for gas ... but after work, I just couldn't bring myself to go to the store to spend all the money I had just made. Does the trip still need to happen? You betcha ... I just didn't want to do it. Oh well, got a no spend day out of it.

Summer was recently downgraded out of the ICU and is now in the Pediatrics wing. This is amazing news. The fact that this little girl was able to survive such a horrible car accident, well, it makes me want to believe in a higher power. She just underwent surgery earlier this week to remove some more pieces of her skull that had been broken in the crash, and to have a rod put into one of her legs.

Even though all of her limbs are broken, and one of her legs was shattered, there is a good chance she might be able to start walking in 10 weeks. That's so amazing! They put rods in her hips, and as soon as the pins are out, they are going to do an MRI to see how her brain is healing. The fact that she is speaking, is again, amazing.

She recongnizes her grandmother, which brought Tammy to tears. As of yet, she has not asked about her mother, but according to Jenny's mom (Tammy) it's like she knows. Deep down in her heart, she knows something must be wrong with mommy for her to not be there. As a momma, I can't even imagine the pain in that little girls heart.

The plan was to go and visit her today, but Juliette woke up sick, and I didn't want to chance it. I'm not going to lie, I'm terrified of going to see her. Scared of breaking down ... so freakin scared she'll ask me where Jenny is. Next week, as long as everything goes well, I'm going to go down there and just hold her hand and tell her everything is going to be ok. Just knowing that this little girl is down there in a hospital room wanting someone to love her, I know I have to go.

When we went to Disney last week, I brought a storybook that I had signed by a lot of the characters. Another coworker of mine went to Disney this weekend, and then two more are going in the weeks afterwards. They are all bringing this book to have signed for Summer. I am so pleased, I know this is something she'll be able to look at in years to come, and know how much we all loved her. While I was at Disney, a Cast Member asked me what the book was for (Juliette was not with me at the time), so I told the lady. She was so amazing. She was a handler for the Stepmother and Stepsisters. Well, I had the poor lady crying, and the woman behind me in line was in tears too. This was not what I wanted! However, if I start talking about it, it just flows. I'm like a mad woman recovering from my grief. Anywho, the CM told me "Nothing I could say would make this little girl loosing her mother easier on any of you, however, just remind yourself that she gained all of these Fairy Godmother's." It's so true (and so Disney). We won't be able to replace Jenny, and Summer will always be missin her momma, but in all of this, she's gained a whole support team of Fairy Godmother's. We're all working to make sure she's able to be a normal child, and know that we all love her.

And even though I don't want to mention the woman who hit her, she is claiming that someone must have spiked a drink she had with GHB ... and she is saying that the was suicidal. This was something that people speculated about from the beginning. According to what people have said (in the newspapers comment section online) the woman and her husband had both just been fired, and they were on the verge of loosing their house and car. Well, sorry ... that doesn't give you the right to get so completely drunk that you drive on the wrong side of the road on an expressway at 2pm. And, even if you were suicidal, you don't get to use the cop out defence of being "temporarily insane" ... sorry, not buying it. Just apologize to Tammy and Arthur ... and the public response to this story and your case would be better. The judge denied her bond, which is pretty rare here in the state of Florida.

And, for those of you praying for Summer, please pray for the lady's sons. She had two small boys, we don't know how old they are. As Arthur and Tammy have stated, they are praying for her sons who have also lost a mother.

Thanks for dealing with my ramble!

Juliette and I, along with my family, headed for a quick weekend trip to Disney World this weekend. We went to Mickey's Not So Scary Halloween Party, which is one of my favorite things to do at the parks.

Juliette had a blast, and was just tall enough to ride Splash Mountain and Big Thunder. Let me tell you, I was worried. Juliette's a small thing, and I think she is missing a fear factor. She's been asking to ride Splash and Big Thunder for over a year now. I was terrified she was getting over her head.

Haha, I was wrong. She wanted to ride up front on both of them, on her first ride. I didn't let her do it, for a number of reasons (again, terrified she didn't know what she was getting into) ... so I talked her out of it. Well, she is a thrill seeker. As soon as we got down the hill at Splash, she asked "Can we do that again!" On Big Thunder, she kept her hands in the air for most of the ride. She was laughing and yelling, she truely enjoyed herself.

We're going back to the parks in November for the Christmas party. I can't wait for her to get to ride her rides again.

Over the weekend, I spent $50 on food. This isn't "too bad" in Disney's perspective, but I am going to aim for a lot lower when we go at the end of October and again in November. We're going for Halloween, but just staying at the Fort, not going in the parks. I know I can do this cheap since we stay in my parents RV ... and I'm going to only be there for the afternoon/evening of Halloween. In November, when we're at the park, I am going to bring Julie's food. Sheesh, the kid just doesn't eat, and it's such a waste to throw away $6+ food per meal. At dinner, she ate two bites of her hamburger ... and none of her sides. For lunch the next day, she ate nothing of her own, but a couple of bites of my mom's sandwich. This child eats pratically nothing.

Over all, I spent $120 this weekend, $60 on my ticket (my parents bought Juliette's) $10 on misc. junk, and the $50 on food. The food also includes a little candy I bought the girls, and the lunch I bought Jordyn (my sister), Juliette and I on our way to Orlando. I don't think I did too badly on spending, since I could have spent a lot more on Disney junk I wanted .. but I just kept putting it back.

Ok, a bit of a back story.

My parents asked me to come back home so I could pay off some major debt and go back to school. I figured I would be here for about a year ...

Well, last night, they dropped the bomb on me that they want us to stay the following year as well. They are going on a year long RV trip and were planning on moving to North Florida ... but with the housing market as it is, there is pretty much no way they will be able to sell their house.

So, I'm looking at two years living here. I have a whole household worth of stuff. Isn't it insane to pay for storage for two years on it?!

I'm thinking of either selling things like the dishes and sort on Craigslist, or just donating them to Goodwill. My furniture has a home at a friends house, so I don't have to worry about that. I'll have to buy new things when they come home, but at $120/month over the course of at least 24 months, we're talking $2880. I know I won't be able to replenish everything with that amount of money, but I needed new livingroom furniture anyways, and I could do probably get most of my household stuff for less than $2500.

So, am I wrong to just give my stuff away, or should I pay to put it in storage like my dad thinks?

Isn't it a tad bit frightening to watch the numerous companies that are filing for bankruptcy? I know as a server, it's pretty scary.

In our town, we lost Don Pablos, Roadhouse Grill, and Johnny Carinos, last year. Yeah, during the "boom". Oops.

Then, of course you've heard about Bennigan's and Steak n Ale. Yep, they're gone. Next door to where I work is a Ruby Tuesday, well, they've filed for bankruptcy as well. Then there is Shell's, which I believe is only in Florida, but they've filed for Chapter 11. Sam's Seltzer's closed here a couple of weeks ago.

Wouldn't you be scared if you were a server, and were watching all these places closed. We had one opening (my friend passing away) at CB ... and we had 25 applicants in ONE day.

Usually, when it gets into the slow season, people talk about leaving and looking for new restaurants. No one did that this year. Why? Well, it's pretty obvious ... it's just not the time to go. And if you did, what are your chances that you were hired to a place listed above ... and now you're unemployed. I had a few friends who worked in some of the above places ... and they just showed up to work and there was nothing. No last paycheck, no sorry ... just a closed door and bills to pay at home.

I'll be the first to admit, my income is DOWN ...I don't even want to look at the complete totals. It's been about cutting corners ... finding a way save ... taking Juliette out of daycare to try to save some money (luckily I have AMAZING parents) ... but who's to say we aren't next.

Not completely unlike the $20 challenge, but close.

My goal is to put aside $5 a shift for the remaining time I have left serving (hopefully not too much longer, I am DONE with this line of work, just looking for a new job.)

$5 a shift, is typically $25 a week, which is $100 a month. That'd be a nice savings for things like birthdays and Christmas. Since we're such a small family, I'd say we could do a couple of short trips to Disney on that amount of money as well.

It's worth a shot ... isn't it.

Update on Summer: My friends little girl had her breathing tube removed on Monday. She is now completely breathing on her own! She is still in a semi-induced coma. She has been "watching" SpongeBob, and even said "Sponge"! On Monday, when they removed the tube, they asked her how she was and she said "I'm cold." With the amount of damage/swelling that was on her brain, this is AMAZING news. We are thrilled and still hopeful of a full recovery. They are doing an MRI scan to make sure how her brain is healing, but since she is forming words, this is an amazing thing. Her legs are healing, but they are doing another xray on the shattered leg to make sure it is healing/pinned correctly.

We needed good news, this week we (my friends and I at work, we) knew three people who died. Yep, we hit our three. Sigh. Then, our coworker threatened to kill herself at work ... it has been a freakin crazy ass week. I'm looking forward to Disney next Friday!

Yeah, she's three. But seriously, it's starting to get a LITTLE old.

During our hiatus, we took two trips to the local ER. The first one, my daughter got cellulitis on her chest wall. If you've never had the joy of dealing with cellulitis, it looks like a spider bite (I think that's the best way to describe it). They don't know what she did, probably scratched at an ant bite or something, but needless to say, she got a VERY serious infection on her side. Because of this expierence at the ER, she is not willing to go to the doctors or anything of the sort, evening getting her to stand on the scale at home is just now starting to get easier, she associated standing on the scale with the ER.

Luckily, we caught the infection in the first day or so. All they had to do was poke a pretty good point into her side so that I was able to drain the puss out of her skin. YUCK! She was on a ten day antibiotic (which the ER doc prescribed to much of, luckily our regular doctor caught that). Luckily, again, my daughter was amazing during this whole ordeal. We're talking about 3-4 times a day of warm compresses and having her side mashed and pressed. Poor thing. Again, it is completely healed, and I am now one of those crazy moms who uses bandaids and neosporin (sp?) on anything and everything ... lol.

I should also mention that even though my dad retired earlier this summer from the fire department, he is currently working overnights at the local ER. Well, thank goodness for that. The other night after one hurricane day (we had like seven kids under the age of ten at our house because school was cancelled.) I looked up into Juliette's nose to see play-doh. Only, it was a neon green crayon. According to her, three of her friends were in her room and she put the crayon up her nose, and they laughed, so she kept it up there. And yep, it broke off and shoved the entire tip of a brand new crayon up at the top of her nose. Sheesh! Talk about peer pressure. This is nothing like Juliette would normally do ... but get a couple of three and four year olds in the same room, and who knows what they do. Sigh. Again, another trek in the ER where it took my dad, myself, and two nurses to hold her down. She was so angry with us. It took all of five minutes to get everything done (we were the only people in the ER at the time) ... but whew. The person who got the crayon said they had never seen one shoved so high up the nose cavitiy. Leave it to my daughter to do something like that ... lol.

So, luckily, those have been our only trips to the ER lately. Actually, at all. I figure, get them out of the way as early as possible. Of course, so far this week, she's completely busted her entire body running in front of the house in her cowboy boots. She skinned both knees, both hands and her face all up. Then, three days later, she completely ripped open her toe running around outside barefoot (see why your momma tells you to put on shoes?). Then tonight she busted her lip open.

She looked at me tonight and said "Am I ever gonna just stop bleeding?"

Only if we wrap the entire world up in bubble wrap baby.

Today has been a blissfully uneventful day.

Juliette is down for her nap, ahh, naptime. I love naptime. I am half tempted to join her myself, but there is much to do while she is asleep.

Today is our first no spender in awhile. It's a great feeling. I don't even think we're going to drive anywhere. Double yay!

I'm working on October's budget now ... and planning for the rest of the month. Spending should be way down, I'd like to pay off a bill or two extra in the next two months.

Seven years ago, I was a 17 year old in the beginning of my senior year. I thought I had the whole world in front of me, completely naive, with some pretty big dreams about how I would change the world.

Then 9/11 happened. It's the day that my generation will always remember where we were. Talking to teachers that day, they said we "needed" a day like this, a day where you knew the exact spot you were when you heard the news.

I was walking to homeroom ... and thought it was a joke. A freshman was getting yelled at by his teacher because he was changing the channel to the news. He said "No, seriously, a plane hit the Trade Center." Like his teacher, I had no idea how true and chilling those words would be. We stood staring at the tv, none of us taking our seats ... we all just stood there, and my awesome *complete stoner art teacher* who's homeroom I was in just stood completely shell shocked. You knew it was a big deal to see us all standing there.

I remember how all the teachers were told we were not allowed to be shown the news coverage. And how my psych teacher told them to screw off and showed it to us. I remember coming home and witnessing the biggest fight I had ever seen between my parents, my dad was from New York and a firefighter, he wanted to go and my mom didn't want him to. No one here remembers, but we got hit that weekend by a Tropical Storm ... so the fight I witnessed between my parents was null and void, my dad couldn't get clearance to leave because of the storm.

Looking back, I never thought I'd be here. If you would have told me how much life would have gone on in seven years ... I wouldn't have believed it. I LOVE being a mother, and am so proud of my daughter ... yet am still in awe that I am one. Is that silly? I don't know. How much life has changed in seven years.

Today, I am grieving again. I can't wrap my head around the fact that Jenny's gone. Stunned and silent is the best way to describe the feelings my friends and I are sharing.

An update on Summer for those that are curious: She had/has some major swelling on her brain. They drilled in her skull to help relieve some of the pressure. Both legs, hips and arms were broken in the crash. She has undergone numerous surgeries today. At 3pm, I found out she was going back into surgery because the swelling in her brain had gone down enough. They were inserting pins into her hips.

Tonight they announced that there was a beer in the cup holder of the car that hit Jenny. There was also an undetermined amount of beer cans in the passenger seat. They are awaiting a blood test to determine if she was drunk, but it's looking more and more like it was alcohol related. The woman who hit her is expected to make a full recovery.

Please, if you have babies, double check that their car seats are properly installed. Jenny and Summer were both buckled in, which is the only way Summer has made it that far.

http://pics.tampabay.com/?category=825

I don't want to depress anyone with these pictures, but when you look at them, you know how amazing it is that Summer has made it this far. Please pray for this little girl, she is simply an amazing little girl.

I lost an amazing person in my life today. She was my age, a single mom with a beautiful little girl. We worked together at the Barrel, and would often joke about how similar our lives were ... we were the same age, with little girls, and we fell in love with men who would turn out to be dead beat fathers. She and I both struggled, but it was great to have someone to vent to ... someone who actually understood where I was coming from.

Tonight, I picked up a shift for her, tomorrow would have been her 25th birthday. She was dating my ex, and on her way out to see him in St. Pete, when she was killed in a car accident. She was driving on the crosstown, and someone hit her head on going the wrong way. Her daughter, Summer, is in critical condition. The last we had heard, she was in surgery. They do no know if she is going to make it.

I can't help but wonder if all this wouldn't have happened if I hadn't agreed to work for her. I know it's not my fault, and I'm not even pretending that it is ... I know she would have either called out or someone would have worked for her tonight ... but it just hits me in the pit of my stomach that I should have been at home tonight, and she should have been at work, and none of this would have happened.

We found out at work tonight, a coworker called after she got the news from Jenny's boyfriend. Needless to say, we were all shook up. I think that's an understatement. Plates were dropped, orders weren't rang in ... there were a lot of tears. Life went on, but all any of us wanted to do was go home and hug our little ones ... and to find out how Summer was.

Just a couple of days ago, Jenny and I were making plans to take the girls to the park. We LOVE the tree park, and often took our girls there, but wanted to let them have a chance to play together. We knew they would get along, they both went to the same daycare ... but Jenny and I pulled them out to be able to spend more time with our girls. I'm just so incredibly at a loss for everything. I want to go back to Monday, and tell her I just can't make it in for her tonight, so that she would have been on the road later.

And then, the financial aspects of it. I know, if something would happen to me, that my parents would be there for Juliette. But, all I can think about is Summer literally being an orphan since Jenny took her away from her father. I know he wasn't a good dad, and I know that he had a lot of the same faults as James (my daughter's father) ... but I can't help but hope through this tragedy he can be there for Summer. He lives in a different state, so I don't even know if the family has called to tell him this happened. He hadn't talked to Jenny since she left almost 2 years ago. She just packed up her things, and left him. That takes courage.

I worry, since I don't have a legal will written, and I know I need life insurance. I know Jenny didn't have these things ... so I worry about what sort of lasting memorial Summer will have of her mother.

I lost a friend today, a courageous, loving, insightful friend. A daring mother, to a beautiful little girl. Hug your babies, and if they aren't there to hug ... call them on the phone.

http://www.abcactionnews.com/news/local/story.aspx?content_id=7e6f734c-8314-48db-8a59-ad175139e6d9
Her car was the green car. Seeing these pictures, I am praying that Summer is able to pull through.

http://www.myfoxtampabay.com/myfox/pages/Home/Detail;jsessionid=961DFA006308CB10699F85D29F8DDA87?contentId=7402031&version=20&locale=EN-US&layoutCode=TSTY&pageId=1.1.1&sflg=1
Same facts, just a wonderful picture of Jenny. This is a few years old, but that's Summer as a little one.

For a number of reasons, I have been MIA ...

So, I am working on getting back on track. Saving money, and hiding it so I am not tempted to spend. I have a lot to update, and am short on time, so I will do a better update later.

Hoping this is a start to getting back on track.

I finally got my car fixed ...

to the tune of $812. OUCH

PLUS, $75 to get the darn piece of junk towed.

UGH.

Needless to say, I didn't have all of that money in an emergency fund, but I am very lucky to have parents who had money I could borrow. My mom said something along the lines of "It seems silly to put this much in repairs for such a crappy car."

I couldn't agree more.

However, I now have a car again. No more borrowing cars, or having to get rides. YAY! I am going to be updating my side bar with all of my debts and such ... and really really working on paying them down. I think I am going to be changing my $20 Challenge a bit, to be able to save up for school. That is something I am still considering ... of course.

Sigh ... I think next month is going to be better. At least I hope so ... I need some good news!

So, I know I want to go back to college. I just don't know if I can afford it. At least not this year. My goal was to start classes in August ... but ... I also want to get out of debt.

Would you:

Go to at least one class (around $300 out of pocket) just to at least get started on the degree? (It's a community school, and I wouldn't get a loan for this money, just pay it out of pocket wiht money saved over the summer.

Or ...

Go back full time to school this August, and put the debt repayment plan on hold? Possibly meaning taking out a private loan if I can't get my current loans straight with the DOE?

Or ... Go to school full time in Jan, and spend the next 6+ months on a rapid debt repayment plan ... Paying off the loans from the last (failed) attempt at school ($3000), the car (1000), the credit cards (3000), and possibly the personal loan from my parents (5000). I'd also like to aim to get about $2000 saved during this time.

So, what would you do? There is the possibilty of going to take one class this August, and still being able to tackle the debt and do some massive savings as well. I think I am just scared of getting in over my head. And also terrified of not doing well in college this time around ... but I think that's normal.

I've been in a rut lately, where I know I want to go back to school (fingers crossed for August!) ... but I didn't know what I wanted to do.

Finally, I have figured it out!

I will be going to the local community college starting in August (as long as I can save up $500 or so for books this summer) ... to get my AA. After that, I will transfer to one of the local schools (though I am not sure, there might be a relocation in sight for a different Florida school) for my BS.

I am going to go into a career as a Child Life Specialist, with a concentration in Pediatric Oncology.

I don't know if I have mentioned her before, but last summer I met a three year old named Peyton who is fighting a very brave fight against Leukemia. Needless to say, this little girl touched my soul. From the moment I met her, I knew I wanted to do SOMETHING to help children with cancer ... I just didn't know what.

Pretty much, what my job will be ... I will be there to help the kids and the entire family. You're in the hospital working with these kids, something to me that's so extremely important.

I was talking to Peyton's mom about it ... and she told me I would be amazing at this. I got pretty excited getting the "thumbs up" from a cancer mom. I'm pretty sure she has some insight in this.

So ... I can't wait to start school. I haven't been this thrilled with a course in my life ... probably since finding out I was gonna be a momma.

So, if you all that pray could say a quick one for my friend Peyton ... she's such an inspiration ... and I'll always be thankful for meeting this little girl.

Warning: This is going to be a sarcastic ride!

So ... I've found an amazing way to save LOTS of money. I mean, just oodles!

While you're driving home from picking your daughter up school ...let your brakes give out. Completely. Oh yeah, it's a thrilling experience. Luckily, we were on my parents street when I lost them ... and I don't know how far away, but it wasn't "life threatening" ... though I almost took out their trash can.

Let me say though ... I'm saving boatloads of money! I've been carless for about 4 days now ... and other than the cost of parts I am going out to buy tomorrow ... I haven't been able to spend any money lately. YAY! There's no way to "run to Wal-mart for a couple of things" that I just "have to have!" Darn.

I'm also on the same tank of gas from two Fridays ago ... and with half a tank left in it. Of course, that doesn't hurt that I am now living at my parents, maybe a mile or two down the road from work. Yeah ... it doesn't get any easier than this.

My friend and his brother and law were going to work on my car tomorrow ... but his dad was put in the hospital this morning for a possible heart attack. We are all very worried, since the man keeps saying things like "If something happens to me ..." or "You all know you have to take care of your mother ..." Of course, we're all hoping he's just worried, worried about being in the hospital, worried b/c he could be sick ... you know, not that the doctors have told him something and he doesn't want to tell the family. His wife had a stroke last year ... and he's obviously very worried about her. These people aren't "old" by any means ... but it's shocking when you see the mortality of your friend's parents up front.

Needless to say ... I am ready for this week to be over!

Oh, and the new Bank of America ATM's SUCK for deposits. UGH!

Ok ... for the first time in a really long time, I was able to get my tank all the way down to pretty much empty. I was coasting in on fumes (probably not that extreme) ... but you get the point.

It took $45 to fill up my tank.

OUCH!

That's really not all that bad though, and now I know what to base my gas budget on. I don't think I have to add any to it quite yet ... right now I budget $40 a week, and that is usually more than enough, but I know in the near future I am going to have to up it to $45.

I won't complain though .. my mom's tank takes about $70 to fill, and that lasts her about a week. Luckily, she's a teacher, and summer vacation is nearing ... none too soon, I might add. For the first time the entire time my mom has worked for this school system (10 years) they are offering "hard ship" moves for teachers. Letting teachers move to schools closer to their homes, even in the middle of the year. My mom only has one year left where she wants to stay at her current school, but after that, she is going to start thinking about moving to a closer school. She told me she passes seven elementary schools on the way to work, but my sister is about to enter the 5th grade and my mom wants to keep her at the same school for the whole time. Admirable point, but an expensive one in this day and age.

BTW, my goal last week was to wait until Wednesday to get gas, and I was able to (somehow) squeak by until today ... that's pretty awesome in my book!

So, technically not related to my budget at all ... but my brother is back in California after his tour in Iraq. YAY! This is really spectacular news.

He'll be in Florida with us in May for three weeks. My mom is thrilled, though agonizing over what to get him for Christmas ... but all that matters is he is home safe and sound.

Now to get Juliette to react positively to him ... she's been extremely anti-boy for the past couple of months now, and I don't want her to be negative to Will. I think it will crush him.