Is this really going to work?

First, let me start off by saying, I love Florida.

Seriously.

So, today was my day off from work this week. I had Monday off as well, but I've had a bit of a cold, so I didn't get as much done as I wanted. Today, I had a plan.

I cooked, I cleaned, I vacuumed. I decided to wait until tonight to do my laundry. We keep our air at around 77 degrees, and our bill is still outrageous, so I figure if I have to run the dryer, might as well do it tonight.

Then, the reason I love Florida happens. A thunderstorm straight from Hades. Oi! Luckily, I had made a very delicious dinner earlier in the evening, b/c I hate cooking wondering if I am going to loose power. We eat, we get ready for bed, and we watch a bit of tv ... hoping it doesn't get struck by lighting ... and my daughter starts begging for her bath. A schedule is great for a two year old, until you have to break her routine. She didn't understand she couldn't have a bath during a thunderstorm.

Sometime between 8 and 9, we loose power. I woke up at 10pm in complete and utter pitch black creepy darkness. Creepy darkness. My roommates walk in ... they had been stuck at the gate with about five other cars and the guys had to get out of the cars in the pouring rain and break the gate to get in. Reason to not live in a gated community, yes. The house in HOT, I'm all sweaty, Julie's all sweaty ... so I light a candle in the dark and gather clothes and head to my mom's.

Luckily I don't give her a heart attack when I show up on her doorstep at 10:30 without a phone call. Reason number 65 as to why I need a cellphone ... cordless phones don't work w/o power. My clothes are in her washer ... and she keeps her thermostat at like 74 degrees, so I'm freezing instead of frying at my house.

Of course, my plan for tonight was to prep dinner for tomorrow and Friday ...... which obviously didn't happen. I also didn't pack my leftovers for lunch like I had planned, and my dinner was DELICIOUS! I went all crazy and followed a recipe I didn't know if we'd like. My parents always order take out or pick up fast food, and I am trying to be better about cooking at home, but I don't know how to make a lot of things. I can make some pretty basic things, but I seriously am trying to learn some new things. Anyways, the recipe was for a whole chicken, which is pretty cheap. I got it out of kraftfoods magazine actually, this month's addition. Anyways, you take cream cheese, rosemary and pepper and mix it all together and put it under the skin of the chicken. Then you put italian dressing on top. It baked while I went and picked Julie up from school ... and OMG, it was amazing. I am weird about food, so the idea of cream cheese and chicken seemed weird, but it was awesome. I am taking the chicken leftover and making chicken noodle soup tomorrow, since Julie and I have been a little under the weather. I was really proud of my dinner, and laughed at myself b/c I wanted to take a picture to proove I had made something like that. It looked AMAZING.

I'm hoping we've gotten power back, but when we called the power company, they told us they had no idea how long it would be out ... they were thinking closer to a day. Who knows ... I'll find out tomorrow when I go home.

However, I think it's time to buy our hurricane supplies. We don't have a flashlight or candles, or a weather radio. I think I should hit up Goodwill and see if they have a corded phone, or even walmart and have it plugged in the garage at least. We've never had a real hurricane pack, with blankets and food and such ... and I don't know if I need it now. It was just scary to be in the dark and not have a light anywhere.

I was trying to go the whole week without spending money on anything other than gas and bills. However, I needed pullups ... and I had two coupons that expired today. Somehow, I managed to spend $90 at walmart. OUCH! $33 of it was in pullups, which will last us ... around two months, I think. I know Julie still has some at school, she has about a month supply at my mom's ... so now she's got some here plus a ton for the next month or so. Here's to hoping that she get potty trained soon!

The only "grocery" thing we bought was skittles ... and that's for potty training. She gets one skittle when she pees in the potty and two when she does number 2. Number two is something we're really working on in the potty ... she doesn't like to go, which I'm hoping we can change.

The rest was all pretty much $2 and $3 things. And that my friend is where walmart gets you. You think "Oh, since I'm here, I might as well get ..." I bought wipes, toothpaste for Julie, a new toothbrush for both of us *well, two for me*, hairties for both of us, more soap and detangler for Julie ... see, I bought into the walmart curse. I also had to buy coolant for my car b/c it's been leaning towards the "hot" part of the temp guage, so I am thinking it might be getting low on coolant. I need "Cars for dummies".

I honestly don't know how I spent so much money. I hate that!

So ... and I'm putting it here to keep myself in line ... no more trips to the store. We are STOCKED! On the upside, I bought paper towels, garbage bags and laundry detergent last, and my roomies and I rotate on that. So, even if we do run out ... it's there turn.

Ok, I have done really well this week with not buying groceries. It seems silly, but I shop a lot. Since I haven't been letting myself go shopping lately, I find myself at the grocery store. I have no idea why! Isn't it funny though ...

So, other than the veggies, alfredo sauce and chicken I picked up the other day, I haven't set foot in Publix.

On Monday, we had a chicken/pasta dish. It was made with leftover veggies I cooked over the weekend, pasta, and some chicken all mixed with some pesto sauce. It was really good.

Tuesday - I made spinach pizza. I used the alfredo sauce, mushrooms that were close to being bad, spinach that was close to being bad and chicken on a whole wheat crust. It was REALLY good and great for using up stuff that was about to be "eeww". I need to look into a recipe for pizza crust, b/c even though this was labled "thin" my daughter hated it.

Wed - My parents made steak since my brother is in town and invited us over. Free food!!!! Free food is the best, incase you are wondering.

Thur - I made chicken nachos. I made black beans and rice with it. Julie didn't really care for this, but she's getting her two year old molars in, so she's not eating much lately. I don't know what to think about that. The chicken I let soak in the taco seasoning for a couple of days, then I used some shredded cheese I grated, some sour cream, and some home made salsa. They were pretty good.

Tonight - I stopped at my mom's b/c it was pouring on the way to my house, and I didn't feel like dealing with it. She'd ordered chinese. So more free food! Then she sent my brother out for ice cream, which I ate a couple of bites of, and let my sister have the rest. Even more free food!

AND - she's taking Julie to Universal Studios tomorrow, so she wanted to watch her tonight! YEAH. It's been a good week. I only need to withdraw a $20 from my bank account to pay for rent, though I can probably wait and just mae the $20 at work tomorrow. I wish I could to to US with them, but I'll just save the money.

So, now I just have to organize and clean my house tomorrrow. I am going to come up with a list of menus out of what's left in the fridge ... though we could just go back to my parents for dinner.

I asked my roomie to pick up a gallon of milk this week (For some reason, I've been buying ALL the milk for the past two months, not fair!) and other than that, I don't have to buy any groceries. I am going to see if I can last two weeks without going to the grocery store. I went today and picked up some veggies, alfredo sauce and chicken. I didn't really need the chicken or veggies, but they will let me hit the two week no grocery bill.

I MIGHT have to pick up some bread, but I am going to try to go without it. I might either get creative and use tortillas, or not eat sammiches. Either way won't kill me.

Money is REALLY tight this week, so tight I may have to ask my mom to cover a bill. I hate to ask for her help, but I'm glad to know she is there if I need it. If I had another week, I could come up with the money, but I don't have the other week.

My plan is to get at least half a month ahead, so I will be able to take the full week off to take my sub training. The pay is really min., however, it will look good on my resume, and be good to have the little bit of money "extra" that it will bring it.

Other than that, the same old same old. My brother is in town this week, before he goes back to Iraq, so my mom wants to go to Universal Studios with him. I told her I didn't have the money to take the day off, so they said they would take Julie with them so I could work extra. I hope they do this ... I would like to get ahead one month.

Oi. I'm tired.

I get a week vacation from Juliette's daycare so my mom offered to watch Julie this week while I work as many hours as I can to try to save some extra money. Did I mention I'm broke! I always feel broke, but I had a huge bill come out of the water this week, so I had to quickly cover $200. So, this week I am saving $130, and getting to spend more time with Julie. A win win situation honestly.

So, Saturday, I worked my regular shift. I made $90, which was great. Sunday I worked my regular shift and made $106, then my manager begged me to stay and work late, so I made another $90. Then tonight my friend asked me to pick up her shift, and I figured I would make $30, tops ... and apprently since it was a full moon, everyone decided to come out to dinner, and I made $70. WOOT! I still have tomorrow and Wednesday that are my regular days, and then payday on Thursday ... so I can breathe again.

I also sold my Harry Potter book, I bought it for $17, and sold it for $15, you can't get much better than that.

Now, if I could get some sleep, that would be great. But, my mom is having a garage sale this weekend, and I haven't even started looking for all of the stuff I know I can sell. There is a ton, and it would be fantastic to make even more money. I don't understand how Juliette and I have so much stuff!

Today will be a no spend day. Yesterday should have been, but I needed gas. Since I needed gas, I went ahead and picked up some more meat *I cooked A LOT* and some big girl panties for Julie. We're going to try the potty training thing this weekend. I'm thrilled! I hope it works. For about two weeks worth of pullups, through school, Nana's and my house, the total cost is around $30, less if I can get a coupon and a sale. However, pullups aren't often on sale, since every kid I know seems to be in them right now. I just can't get her to go #2 on the potty, I even caught her doing it last night, and I tried to get her to go on the pot and she said "No, I like going in my diaper." UGH! Sometimes I think children are sent here to torture us.

I am also picking up a shift today, so "extra" money. YAY! I am not working this weekend, so it's really not anything extra, and with how much money I am behind at this point, I am cringing a bit, but I see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I have to go and get the princess up. Wish me luck, she is not a morning person.

I saved a puupy yesterday! At least I hope I did. I take a "shortcut" when coming from my parents to pick up Juliette from school. I say shortcut b/c it's through a neighborhood with speedbumps, and it really doesn't seem much shorter. Anywho, I almost hit a chihauhau. He was just hanging out in the street, so I pulled over a picked up the little guy. He was ADORABLE. I thought for about 1/10 of a second on just getting right back in my car and driving home, but ... I was more sensible than that. I knock on this lady's door, and she pointed across the street. She was sweet, but she said "Oh, he gets out all the time." I walked across the street and the lady who owned him thanked me about a million times. But, it worries me that he gets out a lot ... but you can't make people be good parents to children or dogs, you just hope they learn sometimes.

So, good deed of the day Check!

It was lightning really badly when we got home, so dinner was frozen waffles and bagles. It's no fun to be in the middle of a thunderstorm cooking dinner ... and your power goes out. I also gave Julie these little frozen yogurt bars I concocted. She LOVED it. All I did was take plain yogurt, peaches, and honey ... puree and freeze. It was like eating slightly sour icecream, the peaches did that. I bought some strawberry yogurt this week and some blueberries and bananas, all things I can freeze and use when needed.

I've spent $100 this week on groceries, which is A LOT for us. The thing is, if I've planned this right, we'll have enough food for at least three weeks. I'll have to buy milk, and possibly eggs and cheese, but everything else we've got plenty of. This includes fresh fruits and veggies, which are huge budget busters, plus all the staples, flour, sugar ... everything. Today I am going to start cooking, I even "spurlged" on chocolate chips for cookies. My daughter, like most toddlers, is a nut for sweets. Hence why I made her the frozen yogurt bars (her ice cream), and I hate to think of the horrid things that are in premade cookies. Plus, a little mom love goes a long way with cookies and children. I have more broccoli, spinanch and mushrooms than I know what to do with ... but luckily she'll eat all of that. Can you see me beaming over here ... my toddler eats veggies!

Today I am going to blow a little bit more of the money ... I mean, I'm going to actually do something for myself. I'll be heading out to check out Harry Potter ... but I'm bringing popcorn and soda with me. Our movie theater lets you bring in food, which I didn't know until I took my sister a few weeks ago and the family in front of us brought in subway. I guess they would rather you come and bring food than not come at all. I just finished reading book 6 again, waiting for my book to arrive on the 21st, and cried like a baby. Books always make me cry, but you know it's a good writer when you cry the 2nd or more time you've read a book.

Oh, and my roomie sprung on me night before last that there friend is bringing another friend down for his trip. URGH. They told me a bit ago that they have a friend coming into town. I don't have a problem with someone sleeping on the couch, not a big deal, as long as they are aware that Julie and I are early risers and sometimes that means a fight from her. Now, though, I'm agngry that he's brining a friend with him. First of all, we have one couch, and two love seats, not exactly the biggest either ... so I don't know where this other person is sleeping. Secondly, they told me this on Monday, and the people are coming on Friday. This angers me more than anything. If I have to, I can stay at my parents house, I know they won't mind, since they are out of town until Tuesday, but I don't feel like I should evict myself from my own house. We'll see though. On the other hand, I just got word that my brother is getting leave in late August, he's going back to Iraq in September. I told him to PLEASE come and sleep on my couch and harrass my roomies, and he laughed. He'll probably stay over though, so he doesn't get into it with my mother. Now, I have to think of something to get him for his birthday. He'll be turning 21 right before he comes home, but it needs to be something he either doesn't mind leaving behind for however long he is going to be over there this time, or something he can take with him. I am thinking about making a basket like thing, with a bunch of 80's candy and finding a Tennage Muntant Ninja Turtle stuffed animal like he had when we were kids. I don't know if this is a good idea, but my brother is hard to buy for. I am also giving him a tupperware thing of sand, just incase he doesn't see enough of it in Iraq.

I'm off to cook!

Or maybe just a couple of months ...

I haven't been having the best of times with keeping to my budget, but not the worst of times either. I spent $30 last week on groceries, and we still have food left! I had to go out and buy milk today, but it was on sale at CVS ...

Roommates ... are problematic. It's not going well, so badly that I think I am going to start a countdown as to when I can move out. SIGH.

So, I've been hunting for a new job ... and working at Cracker Barrel while it happens.

But, then I got to thinking. What if I don't get into the 9-5 work schedule again. I hated how stressed I was, didn't really like working too much ... and the commute. SIGH.

So, I was thinking about staying at Cracker Barrel full time. I've made almost as much in one week that I did in two weeks at the full time job. I'm less stressed, the commute is right down the roaad. And did I mention I have the day off?

Not to mention, I am going to start school again later this week. When would I have time to go to school and work two jobs?

So, I'm thinking about subbing as well. Of course, it's almost summer, so there isn't a need for the next couple of months. And the pay is pretty dismal, not much more than min wage .. but it would pay for gas and food, both important. CB would more than pay for everything else.

I don't know if it's a good idea, but it's something I am looking into. Unless of course, I get an amazing job offers, but my phone isn't ringing off the hook with people begging either.

So, I did something crazy and unexpected, I quit one of my jobs. The higher paying one. I won't get into it too much, because it's a lot of drama and everything ... but boy, let's just say I wish I could have lasted a little longer with my bosses horrid comments.

So now, I'm struggling. I don't like this feeling! I've had a couple of interviews, and am now just waiting to hear back from someone. ANYONE. Hello, can you hear me? I need a job!

So, since my last post ... I've had a birthday, got my hair cut really really cute, quit my job and realized now more than ever, I HAVE to get better at saving money.

I don't want to ever worry about money again, and I'm worrying now. Stretching, saving and hoping.

Did I mention we sign the lease for our townhouse TOMORROW? I am going to be living with my friend and her boyfriend. We found an amazing little townhouse, big enough for the four of us, for a great deal.

Oh, and I start some distant learning classes on 4/30. Does anyone else feel a panick attack coming on? I feel like I'm drowing, but I know everything will come together soon.

So since staying with my friend, who lives in the next town over ... I've had to double my gas budget. I've been putting $100 on the walmart giftcard every two weeks, as opposed to $50. OUCH! And I use just about all of it.

Thank goodness this arrangment is only temp. My other friend and I have found a house that we really like, and we're going to moving in about mid April. I don't think it's going to cut too much of my gas budget down though, since it's still a bit outside of town, and I have to drive all the way in to drop Julie off at daycare.

Plus, by the time we move, my company will also be moving locations. It's only another exit down the interstate, but I don't know exactly what it's going to do gas wise.

Oh well, there's only so much one can do, right?

This weekend, I haven't been able to find someone to watch Julie. My mom had heart cath surgery and isn't going to be able to watch her since she can't lift her. They don't if there's anything wrong with her, nothing's pulling up at all. The test came back normal. I emailed my brother to let him know what was going on, plus I told him to email her which he's really bad at. He hasn't gotten word if he'll infact be coming home in March or not.

I have a friend who is going to watch Julie on Sunday, so that's nice. I think I am going to have to call in to Cracker Barrel on Saturday and let them know about my mom and tell them I just can't come in. I've called everyone I know, and this weekend's just bad.

I need a day off anyways, so I might head over to Disney. I have some friends spending the weekend there, so I won't have to pay for parking ... and since I'm already spending so much in gas I probably won't even notice a difference.

I've run into a bit of a snag in the "save money department".

Since moving in with a friend, I don't feel "proper" cooking meals in her home. I don't know how to explain it, I just feel rude to start cooking for myself in her house. So, I've been eating out for breakfast and lunch, which is bad on two fronts ... loosing weight and saving money. I need to find a way to balance. I should just ask her if she minds if I cook, I'm sure she wouldn't. I think I am just going to buy some frozen lean cuisines or something, at least it's a start.

I've put the new job hunt on hold, since I', not sure if I want to leave at this time. I hate feeling like that.

My mom is in the hospital right now with chest pains, so it's driving me crazy that I can't be there with her. So far, the test have come back fine ... but they might keep her again tonight.

I went ahead and opened a bank account last night, though I am really serious about doing this year as "cash only" as possible to make myself more aware of my money. See, I'm getting a great return in this year and I can't wait to have it direct deposited into my account. PLUS, since I'm living with my friends when I get the new place *possibly* it will make me feel better being able to sock money into an account.

Speaking of the above, my friend and her boyfriend asked if I would be interested in renting a house with them. I am more than ok with the idea ... since it will mean that my rent will be around $300-400 a month, instead of $700-800. We're looking at either three or four bedrooms, so that Julie will have her own room. We might have another friend of ours in the fourth bedroom, or we might keep it as "the boys playroom" as we jokingly call it since her boyfriend and all of our friends are really into playing video games and we would never be able to watch tv in the living room. It looks like the move out date would be April, and since it's not looking like I will be able to find a place open before that ... it looks like the best decision.

Right now, Julie and I are living with my friend Kim and her husband Hans. They have a six year old son named Brad, who Julie is literally falling in love with. It's so cute. The only complaint I have with it is the drive. I'm spending about double what I usually do in gas weekly. But, I had to get out of my parents house before World War Three started. Long story short, my mother is bipolar ... and I honesly couldn't handle being yelled at any longer for little things. Like Julie accidentally dropping her dinner on the floor ... or spilling her milk. It just got to be too much, so my friend offered us her guest room ... and it's working right now.

I swear, everytime I turn around there is more drama in my life. That is something I am going to work on ending. I wonder if it ever goes away.

Tuesday, my friend invited me out to dinner, and then paid, which was awesome. Our server was a friend of mine who I love to death, so I left him a huge tip since I wasn't paying for dinner anyways. I've been buying lunch and breakfast sine I feel so weird about cooking at my friends place, but I think I am going to buy a few things for lunch this week to save some money.

Sunday is my sister's birthday, and I feel bad since my parents didn't give me enough warning, I won't be able to get off work. She'll be nine, so I don't think she'll honestly miss me. I have to think about something to get her, she wants something for her Ninentdo DS ... kids and there expensive gift ideas.

Sigh. I've been working since July to get Juliette on "affordable" health insurance here in Florida. It's called Florida KidCare.

First, they lost my income verfication. TWICE.

Then, in late September, they told me that everything was taken care of. All I had to do was pay the $15 copay, and her coverage would start in 4-6 weeks. Then my car died *the only thing in this entire matter that wasn't their fault* and I didn't have any extra money at the time.

I paid the $15 in the middle of November, when I got my next paycheck. Told to call back in 4-6 weeks. At that time, I picked her provider.

I called two weeks, 6 weeks later after receiving info that I had never picked her provider and that they were about to pick it for me. I picked a provider and then asked how long it would be for me to receive info on her to get her enrolled and everything.

Another 4-6 weeks.

Are you kidding me? I started getting a bit defensive. And then the lady said they were sending it to the "Urgent Review Department" which I was pretty sure they were just making up. I called three days later, after the MLK holiday, since they were closed. Apprently they did forward it the the department listed above, which I still giggle at since it really sounds like something I would have made up.

I was told they didn't have current employer information on me. AGAIN!?!?! I explained to the lady that I did infact have TWO jobs, and that I had sent over my income three times now. Two checks from my "big" job and four from Cracker Barrel. The lady asked "You have two jobs? We only have one listed." I asked, "What about on the application?!" Sure enough, BOTH jobs on the application.

Two days ago I got a letter in the mail stating that my MONTHLY premium will be $159. That's a HUGE difference from the $15 I was told previously. It's still HALF what I pay for her to be covered at my job, but still ...

So I called. Apprently it took this "wonderful" orginazation from September till LAST week to realize I had TWO jobs. And they had calculated it wrong. I make $200 too much per month, gross income btw, to qualify for the lower premium. SO, they want me to fork over $318 TODAY to hopefully have her coverage start in Feb., but more than likely she won't be able to get in until March.

I'm about to scream. I really am. The lady I talked to yesterday was wonderful, but I don't have $318 to fork over and hope that I can drop her with my employer insurance in Feb.

SIGH ... I'm going on an interview/open house Tuesday. Hopefully I get the job, and hopefully they offer affordable insurance for the people who work there, and their children.

Today was ALMOST a no spend day, and I'm almost ready to count it.

All I bought today was a refurbished Ipod that I was going to buy myself for Christmas, but an emergency room trip to the er and my car being broken into put it on the back burner. I've been funding that fund for a couple of weeks now, and spent $35 on myself ... for once.

I've been pretty down lately, and I have to say it felt good spending money on myself for once. I never spend money on myself, which I find out most mom's don't.

I also spent this morning packing up some of Julie's old clothes and toys to get ready to move. I can't wait to go through them and get rid of a bunch of CRAP.

I'm still debating applying for a new job. They are having an open house on Jan 30th, so I have a couple of days to decide, since I'll have to make up a new resume. I want to stay with my current company, but a $4-5 an hour raise would be really sweet.

I made $100 tonight serving. I'm hoping tomorrow is really busy ... with the way things have been going lately, it's the weekend that should be busy. Here's to hoping

My birthday isn't until March, but I got this wild hair up my bumm to plan a weekend trip to Disney for my birthday.

So, I called Disney, mainly for kicks and giggles to see what the price would be for a Savannah room at the Animal Kingdom Lodge. My birthday is during "peak" season, since it's usually college spring break weekend. $325 a night! Seriously?!?!?! Off peak, it's about $200 a night ... which is a lot of money, but $325 for a night is crazy. SOOOO, unless I go for a value resort, I don't think I'm staying at disney. HAHA.

Oh, and $325 is Florida resident, it's close to $500 a night without ... ouch!

For my birthday, I might go ahead and get the tattoo I've been eyeing for awhile. It shouldn't be more than $150, and I've been putting it off b/c I didn't want to spend the money. $150 sounds like a steal after my failed Disney dream.

Oi!

My coworker is leaving our company and I was thinking about taking her old job. It's something I could really enjoy doing, but I'm not sure if I want it.

With everything going on right now ... looking for an apartment and potentially moving as soon as an apartment comes available ... I don't think I am the right person to take it right now. It's not something I can concentrate on learning ... and it's a lot of things to learn.

So then she went into this speal about possibly moving on with the company when we expand in a couple of months. BLAH. And then the yearly raise in March. BLAH again. Sorry, I don't like having a carrot dangled in my face.

I'm seriously thinking about looking for a new job. My boss is so .. .unprofessional. But again, now's not the right time. When is it the right time?

I know I'm always going to have horrid bosses .. I'm just hoping it's better when we're not all in the same small room.

I meant to post about new goals. Since I am going to be living on my own, and therefore paying more out for rent and bills than I previously thought ... I have to change my goals for the year.

Goals:
1. Save $1000 cash.
2. Pay off half of credit card debt by 2008.
3. Pay off half of student loan debt by Spring 2008.
4. Be ready to go back to school by Fall 2008.

When I go back to school in the Fall, I want to go a bit more than half time. This will mean that I will no longer be able to work at Cracker Barrel, as I will have to meet for classes on the weekends, more than likely.

I am going to order a course catalog from the local community college just to get an idea of what online courses they offer. I think this is going to be the only way I can accomplish this goal right now, to work at my main job and then do college online. I should also call a counselor and see if I have to retake any of the classes I had orginally done.

Speaking of quitting Cracker Barrel, did you know they are one of a few places that offer servers health benfits and a 401k plan. The health benefits are a bit expensive, if I remember correctly ... however I did opt to get into the 401k plan last year, when I hit my one year mark over there. Back last April, I was working there full time ... so I didn't even think much about it. Now that I work two days a week, it's kind of amusing to see what goes into the 401k. About $20 a week. I have about $620 in there right now. HA! Nothing to retire on, but I'm proud to say I've saved SOMETHING over the past year.

I hate waiting on W2's. I got one from my current employer, and am now waiting on Cracker Barrel and Michael's to come in. It's always a waiting game.

I'll update my goals on the side bar in a bit. The girls are quitely playing a game *Jordyn playing and my daughter watching* after both of them eating huge bowls of grits. I'd never eaten them before, so I was a bit surprised at the texture.

Have you ever known something wasn't right, but you couldn't bring yourself to see it. Well, if not, subscribe to my blog. You'll see big WARNING lights that I just look at amusingly. Hmm, what are thoughs?!?!

Well, I posted about a silly apartment fight that Michael and I were having. Today I ended it with him. Not completely over the fight, but over the fact that he didn't understand why Julie's daycare wasn't a negotiable thing.

I didn't post much on here when my daughter first started her old daycare. I stayed at home with her for the first 16 months of her life, working nights while my mom was with her. She is a HUGE momma's girl. When she started daycare, it literally broke my heart. Here's a good place to input that I didn't want to have any children until I was 30 and I wanted to be a stay at home mom. I never thought I would have to put her in a daycare, but when a great job was literally given to me ... I knew what I had to do.

Personally, I cried the first three days dropping her off. Starting a job, sobbing hysterically probably makes your new boss wonder about you. Running out the door at lunch to go and check on your napping babe ... and then coming back crying REALLY makes you look like a weirdo. Juliette didn't do well with the transistion either. It took a good two weeks before she was excited about going to school.

A month or so after, they added a new classroom and Julie went into it. She started coming home with weird bumps and bruises, but we didn't think much of it ... then she got her finger caught in the door. I wasn't able to leave work, so my mom went and got her. They told my mom that they thought she was going to need stiches. My dad's a fireman/paramedic, so he went with her. She didn't need stiches but had a nasty bloody nail for a few months after that. Again, we didn't think much about it.

Suddenly, my sweet darling toddler was becoming this horrid monster. Again, we didn't think anything of it b/c she was at that "age" where kids are supposed to be a little bit meaner. One day I dropped her off early and watched as two parents pulled their kids out of the class b/c of unexplained bruises. Suddenly the light shone. Then Julie was becoming incredibly aggressive, and I watched her push the only two other boys left in the class ... and the teacher didn't say anything.

I cried again the whole way to work.

I started looking that day for a better daycare ... and I found the one she goes to now. Sure, it's not perfect. In fact, I don't really like one of the owners ... but my child is HAPPY. She loves talking to you about school, sings songs she's learned there ... and has even made some of those pieces of artworks I'll look back on in 10 years and boo hoo like a baby.

And THAT my friend *while incredibly long* is why I am no longer moving in with some crazy man with WAY to much drama. A coworker asked why I would possibly date a man with children, and now I see why. I don't want to deal with an ex forever. Of course, I'll more than likely fall madly in love with a man with adorable little children of his own ... but ... well, let's hope he's more responsible then someone who fights over a daycare.

I ended it ... and really looked at my budget. Am I really going to be able to do this?!!??!?!!??!

YES!

Is it going to be tough?

OMG, yes.

Rent: $640 a month, a two bed, two bath apartment. Literally less than a mile from my parents *sigh, will I ever get away?*
Washer/dryer: $37 a month
School loans: $50 a month *BA, wanna help me out?!?! wink*
Daycare: $130/week. $520/month *WOW, that's almost as much as I'll pay in rent. Seeing the actual numbers is sickening!*
Car payment: $380/month
Insurance: $200 (I think it's actually 125, though I'm not sure. The extra money is going to go into a car fund, in case things like having my car broken into happens again)
Julie's health insurance: $15/month
Cell: $60 *I think it's about to be less than that*
Electric: $100
Gas: $100
Groceries: $300 *I think that's extreme*
Gas for the car: $100 *again, extreme*

Grand Total: $2112

Not including raises - I bring home $2486 a month. Now .. most of the things I over budgetted, since I have never really lived on my own. It leaves me $300 left over pretty much a month. Of course I'd LOVE to start putting that towards payin back all my debt *I added it up the other day, scary*, and saving. I'm due for a raise in March, but I didn't work that in. Of course this includes working at Cracker Barrel. I feel like I am going to be working two jobs FOREVER! Also, while it includes Cracker Barrel, I know it's not 100% of my tips .. it's only what I claim. I usually make about $100 more a week than I claim *shh, don't tell Mr. Tax man, he's going to hate me* but whatevers left over will be used greatly.

So ... wish me luck. A lot of luck.

My boyfriend and I have decided to look for and move into an apartment by Feb. I'm going nuts trying to find a place for us to live.

Most of the places around here have no openings. I can't believe the amount of apartments in the area, and NO OPENINGS. I fell in love with this place tonight, until the lady told me that it's $999 a month. Are you serious?!!? For an apartment? We were looking at a place for $650 a month that's only 100 sq feet less, but it doesn't look like they are going to have any openings when we need it. Argh!

Then comes the part of where to live. Michael wants to live in a different part of town. But, I think I want to stay here b/c I am in LOVE with Julie's daycare. It's amazing, and he doesn't really understand the point of it. I told him it was sad that I was willing to drive more than an hour out of my way to drop her off at this amazing daycare and then all the way back to work ... and do it again on the way home ... only b/c he doesn't want to live with traffice. Hello! What planet are you living on that there is no traffic. SIGH.

It's a silly fight, but I think I am going to win. I have to worry about my daughter, so I win.

Sigh, it's late. I have no idea why I am still awake.

I've been doing horrid about saving money this week.

So far so good this year. I can't complain, yet.

Money has been decent. I've been spending to much, but this is something I plan on tackling this coming week. I am jumping into the $20 challenge. And it's going to go to ME!

One of the things for the challenge is I am going to set myself $20 a week to spend on "junk". This means if I want to pick up breakfast on the way to work, or spend .60 for a soda. Whatever is left over at the end of the week from this $20 will go into my challenge money. This will curb me from the soda or a breakfast sammich.

I'm also going to take half of whatever change is saved during the month and put this into my challenge money. One thing I've been doing is after serving over the weekend, I take whatever dollars are left over and put into my change jar. For instance this past weekend I made $209 serving. I seperated the $200 to spend on bills, and the nine went into the savings account.

For regualr savings, which I am working on having become my emergency fund, I have been putting aside $90 and some change into my savings account. I'm hoping to be able to put about $25-50 into this account each serving weekend, plus my weekly paychecks from Cracker Barrel. These checks are usually between $11-26 a week, so it's not exactly a huge amount of money but it will all add up eventually.

Also, since I am really tired of being this size, for each 1lb I loose I am going to put aside $1. This money will go into my challenge money, and my goal is for the end of the year to be able to blow a good portion on pretty new SMALL clothes for me.

Also, since I have filed for child support against my daughters WONDERFUL *eye roll here* father here .... whatever money he sends is going to go into a savings account for her. I am hoping to be able to start a 529 plan for her, depending on what he's ordered to pay. I don't know what I am going to be able to sign up for, I don't know how these plans work in other states but here I will be able to set aside anything from 2 years at a community all the way up to 4 years plus living expenses. I guess it depends on what he sends over. I would like to be able to set it up this year, but I have to sign up for it by the 31st of this month and I know everything won't be set up by then. I think I am going to put the 529 plan on my NEXT YEAR list. Yes, I've started a list of goals for next year *see side bar*. I think it's kinda funny to be saving up for college for my daughter and hoping to go back at the same time for myself, but I should qualify for a couple of grants so it's all good.

I think this is long enough for now.

Most of my goals for this year are really aimed to helping me with 2008. I really want to go back to school. I can't wait to go back actually, and I want to be ready by spring semester of 08. I plan on going back just about half time, if I can afford it. Enough to be able to not have to repay my student loans while in school.

Goals:
1. Get my own place. Michael and I are discussing moving into an apartment or renting a house as early as next month. I'm not sure if this will work, but this is a potential goal.
2. Save $5000 in cash. It's a lofty goal, but I have been pretty determined to start setting aside money. I plan on making exact tasks on how to save this money in my next post.
3. Reopen a checking account. Having to pay for everything in cash has made me VERY aware of my money.
4. Open two ING accounts. One for my emergency fund, one for Julie's college savings. If her darling father ever sends some child support, this money will go into this account. I have officially filed for child support by the way.
5. Majorly reduce the student loan debt I have from when I attempted and failed to go to school before. These loans are currently in default, but are being consolidated to take them out of default. I have less than $3000 in student loans, so I really want to hit them hard.
6. Pay off my credit card debt. I need to get the exact totals, but I have less than $1000.

Good luck to 2007. I can't wait for 2008.

Sigh. There is nothing like car repairs.

My car got broken into on Christmas Eve. Luckily enough I came out right as the bastard was breaking into my car, and he only got away with three small toys. My backup Santa gifts for Julie and a new nightgown for her. Ugh. Luckily he practically hit a really nice guy, so there is a chance they will catch him. I'm not holding my breath, but still. SO, now I have to repair my lock on my door.

1. Fix the door. Car repair shop that I usually use is closed for the rest of the week, so I can't call for a quote. I did get a quote from the dealer, which is hopefully really really too much for $350.

2. Muffler is broken in half. It works, it's just the exhaust pipe. I need to get that fixed.

3. My brakes are squeaking. I need to get that checked out, and more than likely fixed.

4. My left rear tire is going flat. About once a week ... which I can handle right now, but I know it needs to be fixed.

5. I really am quite over-do for an oil change. Like REALLY over-do. I am going tomorrow after work to get it changed.

6. My air conditioner leaks into the car. I can't use the air conditioner, still, which isn't the end of the world at all. I just would like to get that fixed so I can use my air conditioner in the summer.

Anything else??!?!?! Does anyone else need work done on their car? You can probably sneak it in, and I wouldn't know.

Due to horrible planning, and my parents last minute notice that they were going out of town last week, I was short for daycare. Sigh

I hate this feeling.

So, I called up her father. Who is stating that he wants to be around ... still haven't seen him ... and asked to borrower $20. I can put gas in the car, get milk and pay daycare. I actually felt bad asking him to borrow money, which is just disgusting since he hasn't paid a dime for her in 19 months.

Sigh, at least he was more than happy to let me borrow the money.

To stop this from ever happening again, each payday, I am going to put $100 directly into my savings account. No matter what it takes. If I don't have the money for it, I honestly don't need it.

I'd also like to put $50 each serving weekend into savings. I don't know if this is possible, but I would really like it to happen.

Here's to stopping feeling sorry for myself, and getting back on track.

Now, I'll be honest. I kinda like working two jobs. If I didn't have Julie, I would work two full time jobs. Drag myself into the ground. I do feel guilty not spending enough time with Juliette ... but we do spend tons of time together ... just not as much as before.

But this weekend, I make $245 serving. WOW! I've been averaging around $200 including my measley paycheck (I get about $20 a week from Cracker Barrel b/c I have a 401k through them) This weekend I didn't even pick up my paycheck.

I'm pretty thrilled. I am not working next weekend, I decided to take some time off (plus my parents are going out of town, so no babysitter) so I am going to hold on to a lot of this money. Plus next weekend since I'm not working, I decided to take Julie to Disney for the day. We haven't been since Labor Day, I'm really exicited, since Disney will be decorated for Christmas. My three favorite things, Julie, Disney and Christmas. It's going to be amazing. I wish it wasn't so much money to go to Mickey's Very Merry Christmas Party, or we'd go to that to. I think I am going to wait another year before taking Julie to it, I just don't think she'll enjoy it quite yet.

Today, well I've spent about $5 on food so far. Breakfast I had something from downstairs, and then for lunch I had to go down for a bottle of water, and they had these awesome veggies so I picked some up. My coworker shared his leftover yummy shrimp pasta with me. I have some food that I really need to cook and freeze, I just don't feel like cooking when I get home.

This weekend, I went out and picked up Julie's Christmas outfit. It's sad, but I went to the Disney store and got her a cute dress with Mickey and Minnie on it. I also picked her up a stuffed version of Lightning McQueen. She's really into cars, and this darn thing has had to go with us everywhere. Then we rode the carousel, a good $2 spent. She didn't want to ride on the horse, we sat in this clam thing. It moved up and down and she kept yelling "WEEEE!!!!" She's pretty silly. Tomorrow we're going up to get the girls pictures with Santa, yay!

Friday I took Michael out to dinner. Dinner was bleck, but Julie was with us. They were so cute together. Julie acutally listened to him. We had a great conversation, good time with Julie ... I didn't want to introduce him to her so soon, but I think that if things keep continuing down the path they are on, it was good for him to meet her now. On the ironic side, her father who was so interested in seeing her still hasn't. Sigh. I don't even want to ask him anymore. The past two weeks having to talk to him and deal with him have been grueling.

Now, whenever someone I know does something insanely stupid, I try not to say anything.

My boss bought a house she CANNOT afford, on an ARM mortage at that. Seriously?!

For the past month I've had to listen to her talk about this stupid house. Blah blah blah, my NEW house.

They signed on it this week. Since coming back to work, she's done nothing but look at ways to make the rest of her bills cheaper. Now, this is normally a good thing, but I'm talking about listening to "Hey, can I get a quote please" for four days.

Sigh. I can't say I never make stupid money mistakes. I am very good at making stupid money mistakes. I just cannot believe the stupid money mistakes people make.

I almost titled this entry Baby it's cold outside, but I didn't want to take away from BA's surprise.

Lesson 1: It gets cold in Florida
Lesson 2: Jackets are hard to come by on the night before a cold front.
Lesson 3: Never wait to the last minute to buy a jacket in Florida.

I had to run out last night and find a warm jacket since we have "big time business people" coming into the office today. I didn't think about it before hand, but an orange hoodie is NOT great business attire.

Sigh, got a sweater, a new shirt, an outfit for Julie *Christmas* and three puzzles for her *birthday or Christmas*

I then went out with my friend to Dennys fro a midnight dinner. I hadn't done this in years, and it was nice to sit and talk and eat horribly greasy food.

I was talking to my mom, and Julie saw snow yesterday. They woke up to snow flurries. Julie was all about touching it, she thought it was the cutest thing ever. They also rode a train up there, where they do a sort of "Polar Express", and Julie was screaming "SANTA!" when she saw him. I don't know how she knew who he was ... last year was her first Christmas and she fell asleep when we were last in line to have our picture taken with him. Apprently though, she thought he was pretty cool.

Tonight I have to drive out to Pinellas, an hour drive from work. Michael wanted to come over, but we're postponing it until tomorrow since he has to work so early. I think I'm going to go home and really get to cleaning and organizing. It's weird going home to an empty house.

On Saturday, to celebrate the fact that I could *even though I didn't really want to* I went to a party at my friends. I double and triple checked that James wasn't there, since they are friends with him as well. Was told by everyone that he had left about 30 mins before.

My friend and I went, I grabbed a beer and chatted a few minutes. It was just weird being there, I was really worried that he might show up again ... I just got an uneasy feeling. So I left.

When I went outside, my friend was standing by a car. I ran over to talk to him, even though the girl I was with told me not to, to just go *it was cold outside* I should have listened. James was sitting in the car.

It turns out he was waiting to talk to me, outside for 45 minutes. Everyone at the party thought he had left, but no ... he hadn't.

It was to cold to talk outside, so I invited him back to my place. I really needed a drink at this point, so he drove me home. Both friends outside at this point made me promise to not kill him. We got back to my place and talked for an hour and a half. He apologized, said a whole bunch of stuff ... includind asking me to move in with him in an apartment.

He says he's going to get the paternity test done, that he plans on paying child support. I don't believe him ... I really don't. But, it would be nice if he was being truthful and honest about everything. Needless to say ... I don't think he is.

Michael ended up coming over after James left. I was really just ... miserable after he left. We had a few good laughs about it ... Michael thinks he's being honest, but then again, Michael doesn't know him. It would be great if he was ... just amazingly great.

Moral of the story ... don't go to parties. EVER.

Julie is going with my parents out of town tomorrow morning ... so how in the heck am I going to spend the next nine days??!!?! I have to work, both jobs, a lot over the week. Infact, I'm actually working at Cracker Barrel on Thanksgiving, which is why I couldn't go with them out of town *I would have killed someone bein on an RV with my parents for that long, I really honestly don't mind*

Friday:
1. Go shopping for some warmer clothes for Julie. She really needs about five more pairs of pants, and some night clothes. I don't know how cold it is iin North Carolina, but well ... I'm sure it's colder than down here. A lot colder.
2. Do laundry.

Saturday: Freedom!
1. Clean out, vacuum, scrub down my car. My car is lived in ... it's getting pretty ... eeewwww. I just always put it on the back burner on my things to do list. Children should not be allowed peanut butter filled cookies if they are going to smear them on the car. My coworker gave me her sons old *in really awesome condition* car seat ... which is really really sweet. She was looking for a way to get rid of it ... and I happen to needed a new one.

2. Go shopping! Next week and the week after we have some really big clients coming into the office. We're about to expand big time .. which is scary. There are 11 of us in my department, we're about to grow to 75. But, the CFO of the company asked us to dress more business than casual. Sniff. We're pretty laxed at work, but I have a feeling my flip flops will have to be put away for the next couple of days. Oh well, I'm hitting up the mall for a couple of new outfits. AND, since I don't have to pay for daycare next week, I will NOT feel guilty about actually doing something for myself.

3. I'm dying my hair *if I have the time( tonight as well. I have to work 2 - close, but if I have time .. it really needs some color.

Sunday:
1. Work 8am-4pm. Or around that time.
2. Michael is coming over, and I'm going to cook for him. We're still in that weird "we have too much baggage are we sure this is going to work" stage ... so I'm going to wow him with my cooking. I'm thinking about stopping at Blockbuster and watching a cheesy horror movie ... horrorfest is this weekend, but he works retail so we don't have much time for that.
3. Freak out, b/c Michael is expecting me to cook seafood. Deer in the headlights look. I have no idea what I am doing, but my girl at work is bringing in some recipes and will be a phone call away for when I burn down my kitchen.

And that my friends, is my weekend. I don't know what I am going to do without Julie, but I'm sure I can make it through without her. I just can't wait until she's home for snuggles, I love snuggles. The best part, my best friend lives in Orlando for school ... and we never see eachother. She'll be home for Thanksgiving ... so I can taste a drink in our future. Plus, another friend still "owes" me drinks from my 21st birthday *I'll be 23 in three months, sigh*, so I think I am going to cash in that raincheck. I'm sure I can find something to do with myself over the next nine days.

By the way, I made sweet potato casserole this morning, from scratch. Holy moly. Never again, unless I figure out an easier way to mash sweet potatoes ...I'm pretty sure I gained some muscles ... somewhere.

Yeah, I thought it was a cute idea. Here's more than you'll ever need to know about me.

1. I love being single. So much in fact that I decided in five years, man or no man ... I'm having another child. It takes one man to ruin all the hope of any other man ever. How sad is that.

2. I remember no pain from my daughters birth. I was on six shots of drugs by that time ... and was honestly really messed up. I just remember thinking that my daughter looked like an alien. I can't wait to tell her that story when she gets older.

3. I've been to Disney more times than I can count. Julie's been 11 times. There is nothing like walking on Main Street and seeing the castle ... it takes my breath away everytime.

4. When I retire, my dream is to work at Disney. I want to be the Fairy Godmother.

5. In my day, I've met Tinkerbell and a girl who played Mickey Mouse. I love going to parties in Orlando and meeting the actual castmembers. Girls, all the princes are gay. Prince Charming hit on my friend ... it was the saddest night of my life ... but hillarious none the less.

6. I'm terrified of moving to fair away from my parents, but can't wait to leave.

7. My biggest fear is that Julie will hate me one day, for her grandparents and father living so close, but having nothing to do with her.

8. She's started screaming "Daddy" at night or when she's in trouble. It makes me want to break down and cry everytime she does it.

9. I hate text messaging, b/c I use improper grammar and it's just easier to misspell words.

10. I've almost gotten married twice, once to the man of my dreams, he's still a good friend. I was going to be an airforce wife. The second time was to Julie's father ... I'm really glad I didn't think it was a good idea at the time.

11. When my daughter is asleep at night, she looks just like her father. Amazingly so.

12. I have no idea what I want to do when I "grow up". I'm thinking about going back to school in the fall, but I honestly have no plans on what I want to do when I get there. That terrifies me.

13. I hate washing dishes. I think every house should have a mandatory dishwasher ... but a really good one. There should be no prewashing of dishes.

14. I love signing. I can't play an instrument to save my life. I tried the violin, guitar, and clarinet. Couldn't figure it out. Give me some sheet music and the key, and I'm gold.

15. I've sang in the Candlelight Processional about 9 times. I've never watched it ... but it's amazing. If you're ever at Disney for Christmas, go see it. It's unbelievable.

16. I was in show choir in highschool. The choir where they sing and dance ... none of my friends could get over that. I was the metal head rock girl ... in choir. I still laugh at their looks when I would sing for them. Nothing like hearing a choir girl singing Tool. It's hillarious.

That's about it ...